There is a guy grinding on her and pulling her back, even though she tries to pull away. “She can handle it herself,” I tell them. We aren’t her boyfriends, and we aren’t even her friends. We are just bandmates and barely even work colleagues.
“We should help.” Trav and Kolton start to head her way when Beck turns in the creep’s arms and, with a feral smile, smashes her head into his. He stumbles back with a yelp as a chuckle bursts out of me.
“Told you,” I comment, even as I watch her mouth move. I can’t hear what she’s saying, but it’s clear she’s reaming the guy out. He pales, looking ashamed, before fleeing, still holding his head.
I can’t help but grin widely when she flips him off with both hands as he runs. Tossing her hair back, she turns to find us all watching and rolls her eyes, storming over.
She smirks at us. “Don’t worry, I’m stronger than I look.” She tips her beer back, draining it all before wiping her mouth. “Time to go?”
I smirk. “Time to go, pretty girl.”
“Don’t call me that,” she warns, “or you’ll end up like him.”
“Promises,” I tease, unable to help it.
The rise it gets out of her is better than any drug.
Trav elbows me on our way past. “Pact,” he hisses in my ear.
“I didn’t forget,” I grumble. “Come on then, rock star, tomorrow is the start of your training, and trust me, you’ll need all the sleep you can get.”
Like always, when my door is shut and the world is quiet, the sky shining brightly with the moon, my demons come, chasing me from the sheets until I find myself in the kitchen. No one told me fighting my addiction would lead to me becoming an insomniac. Usually, I grab a pen and pad and head outside, spilling everything I hide onto the paper into lyrics no one will ever hear, but after I make herbal tea, I find myself at the back window, my eyes widening.
Beck is already out there, wearing nothing but a long, oversized Dead Ringers T-shirt with her hair in a messy bun, her bare, pale legs glistening in the moonlight. She looks so alone and lost, the shadows almost concealing her from me.
She stands in the darkness, in the silence of the middle of the night, alone and hollow.
I know because that’s how I feel.
My body and skin are no longer my own, since so many lovers and needles made it their home.
Holding my mug, I watch as Beck wanders aimlessly around the garden, an old-school Casio on her ears. She seems sad, her shoulders hunched and eyes downcast. A better man would go out there and see if she is okay, but it’s not my issue. I need to mind my business and not get too involved.
That’s how we ended up like this in the first place.
Gripping my mug, I leave her to her demons and prepare to fight my own until the sun rises.
For a moment, I want to stand with her and help her fight her battles so she won’t get lost like I did, but my fists and soul are already scarred from fighting so many, and I’m so tired of it.
I don’t even have the strength to fight my own battle, never mind hers, so I turn away.
I leave her there alone, seeking solace in the night, and I slip between my sheets, my soul crying out to be saved.
I’ve always been damned.
It seems Beck Danvers is as well.
SEVEN
Gritting my teeth, I keep my eyes straight ahead as I’m circled by the sharks. In this case, the Dead Ringers’ wardrobe department. There are three women and a man standing around me, picking me apart like I have no ears, and I have no choice but to endure it. Everything is on a tight deadline because of the upcoming tour, so I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn for appointments. First hair, then makeup trials, then earpiece fittings and equipment, and now this.
I’m exhausted and cranky, and these fuckers didn’t even bother to introduce themselves. They just hustled me into the sitting room and made me stand on the chair while taking my measurements and making notes on iPads. I’m coming to hate those fucking things. I know they are only just doing their job, but fuck, where’s the compassion?
I feel like an object, not a person.
Is that how she felt?
“So I’m thinking we do something gothic but high-end.”