Page 30 of Rebel

Why I’ve always wanted to chase my dream in music.

As much as it feels good, though, it hurts, and it tears me apart until I can barely breathe. Will it be like this every time? If so, then how do I hide that from them? I don’t have what I need yet, I need time, but the tour is rapidly approaching, and I know after today, I need to disappear before then.

I might run away with them and never come back.

No, I can’t, but a small voice tells me I should be worried about what will happen to them when I’m gone. Another failed lead singer? Another scandal? It will destroy them.

That’s what I want, right?

“Here.” I startle at the voice and glance up to see Kolton there, holding out a glass of wine. I accept it and take a sip as he sits on the edge of the hammock.

“Thanks.” It warms me and settles my racing thoughts.

“The first performance is always the worst. I threw up both before and after mine,” he admits, smiling at me, “so I figured you could use that.”

“Really?” I chuckle. “You’re always so calm.”

“Not always.” He smiles, and I pat his side as he slides closer. We lapse into silence, which is only interrupted when Chase stalks outside with a bottle of beer dangling from his hand.

“No fucking on the hammock, I sleep there,” he comments with an evil grin as he stops next to us.

“I think I should tell you that, not the other way around,” I comment as I sip my wine.

“I’m ordering pizza. You want in?” he asks.

“Yes please,” Kolt and I reply.

“Pepperoni, right?” he asks me, and I nod, unsure why he remembers my pizza order.

He taps away on his phone, and I can’t help myself.

“Why did you help me?” I ask Chase. “In the interview with the underwear thing?”

“I might not always like you, Beck, or want you here, but you are one of us, and like it or not, no one fucks with my family.” He nods at me and Kolton and heads back inside. “You owe me for the pizza though.”

“Wow, that was almost nice,” I whisper, making Kolt laugh.

“I wouldn’t expect it every day.”

I nod and gaze back out at the city. Now is my chance to dig and get what I want, but as I go to open my mouth, his voice stops me.

“I’m glad we met you, Beck.” I turn to see him watching me. “We were lost and about to give up, but you reminded us why we do this. We each have our own reason for being in love with music, but we can get a little lost on the road to stardom. You reminded me why I started to begin with, so thank you, and thank you for being so nice to my family. We’ll always protect you, okay? Let’s do this together.”

I nod, swallowing bile at the honesty on his face and the happiness in his eyes. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt him right now.

“Pizza is here, you fuckers!”

“Come on.” Kolton laughs and gets up. Downing my wine, I grab his arm to help myself up and then we head back inside.

“First fuck?” Chase asks.

“How predictable,” I drawl, sipping my beer as I take another slice. “It was in his old, beat-up Corolla in the middle of the woods, and AC/DC was playing, and they were still playing when he finished.”

They burst into laughter, their beer bottles clattering to the floor. Pizza covers the table, and Chase suggested a game for us to get to know each other better. It gives me a perfect opportunity, but I didn’t expect it to be so fun.

“First heartbreak?” I ask Trav, who’s next. I start out light, knowing I need to build to it.

“I was sixteen, and her name was Macy. She was a cheerleader.” He grins. “She was my first kiss too. I thought we were in it for the long run, until I caught her fucking the football captain.”

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