Page 159 of Rebel

I miss my sister, I always will, but Ben and Rachel are facing their crimes, and the world has not only forgiven and apologized to my sister, but everyone is remembering her. The best way I can honor her is to live and perform, and that’s exactly what I plan to do.

With them.

My Dead Ringers.

SEVENTY-FOUR

I’m nervous.

It’s our first night back on tour. I refuse to say we let our fans down because we took time off. I physically couldn’t sing, and I couldn’t give them a good show while I was healing, but we are back, and I hope they can forgive us.

We will make it up to them.

Our new manager is cheering us on from the sidelines. Her name is Winter, and she reminds me so much of my sister that it makes me smile. She is fierce and protective and exactly what we need.

During those weeks, though, I saw the rumors spiral. I don’t blame them. Between us fighting on stage, them carrying me off, and then chasing me off stage, they were bound to. People think I’m sleeping with the guys. They aren’t wrong, but I refuse to answer those questions. It’s our personal life, not theirs, and I’m learning to separate it.

They get me, Beck Danvers, but the guys get Summer.

They get the real me.

The fans get the singer.

Tonight’s also the night we’ll perform our new song, the one we haven’t even released yet but have been practicing the last few days. It’s my love song for them. They loved the tape so much, I caught them replaying it, and honestly, it just spiraled into my lyrics, asking for forgiveness and admitting our love for each other.

It will be our confession, our truth, on stage, and that is as much as they will get.

Nothing else.

When we enter, they scream louder than they ever have before, and I just soak it in. A smile I can’t control curves my mouth.

We perform better than we ever have, and I’m careful during the screaming sections so I don’t injure my throat any worse, and when it comes to our new song, I take a deep breath. The crowd quiets, anticipation filling the air as they feel it.

“Tonight, we have a new song for you. No doubt you have seen the news. Love was born from all that horror and pain—a love that we carry onto every stage and in every song. Make of it what you will, but this one is for you, it’s for us, and it’s for my sister.”

It’s a slow song filled with ups and downs, heartache, grief, and forgiveness. We pour our souls into every word as we sing together. Tears splash down my cheeks, but I don’t wipe them away.

I let them fuel me, and when the song ends, I stand there, soaking in their applause and shouts. I let that happiness fill all those cracked places inside me.

My eyes go to the stars above the open arena, and I know the guys are right.

My sister is watching me.

She’s with me, watching me fulfill our dreams.

Tonight, I sing for her and them.

My eyes go to my men, my loves, my bandmates, and my heart overflows.

This might have started as a rebellion, but it ends with love.

Love and music.

SEVENTY-FIVE

A year later . . .

Tonight is the last show of our tour.

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