Page 147 of Rebel

“Loves us enough that she left without an explanation,” Chase snaps.

“Because something is wrong,” I respond cuttingly. “Stop thinking with your broken heart and, instead, use your head. All the shit that’s been happening has been building up. What if something happened to Beck that we don’t know about? What if she left for a reason?”

“She looked off stage before she left. I thought it was weird. She had been acting distant all day,” Kolton admits, some life coming back into his eyes. “She was saying something about talking to Gill before this all happened. Maybe she did. Maybe she found something.”

“I’ll call Ben,” Chase mutters, his shoulders slumping. All of us ignore the blood dripping down his knuckles. “Maybe he knows something. We can talk to Gill. If not, we can trace her steps. We’ll get her back.” He nods. “We’ll get answers.”

“And this.” I hold up the tape for them to see. “She left us this for a reason. It’s not a coincidence. She took every other trace of her, but this is something only we would understand.”

“Do we have any way to play it?” Chase asks.

“I do.” Kolton hurries to his bunk, which is empty since we all share the big bed. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that, but honestly, it’s where we were all comfortable. Rooting through a duffle bag, he pulls out an old cassette player that looks brand new. “I bought it in case Beck’s ever failed. I didn’t want her to be without her sister.”

His expression becomes somber as he looks down at it before handing it over. Chase takes it and hooks it up to the speakers so we can all listen, and I put the tape in. I place my hand over my aching heart. Will the pain ever go away?

I hope not because it makes me think of her.

When her voice comes, it’s soft and sad, and that only makes the pain worse, knowing she was suffering and we were right there, not seeing it. “You guys are asleep right now, so I have to be quiet.” She chuckles sorrowfully. “I’m going to miss the sound of your snoring. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep alone again. You guys have ruined me.” There’s a pause, and she takes a deep breath. “I know you guys have questions, and if you’re listening to this, then I’m not there, and it’s okay to be angry and questioning everything, but?—”

“Baby,” Chase calls sleepily in the background.

“Coming!” she replies, and we all hear the smile in her voice. Not a moment later, the snoring starts again. “I hope you can all forgive me. I wish I could tell you more, but I can’t. Just please trust me. It might take everything you have, but trust me this once. This isn’t the end, not for us, not forever. Just for now. There’s so much I want to tell you, but the words won’t come, so instead, have this.”

There’s no music, no guitar, just her soft, crooning voice as she sings to us.

My love, so deep like an ocean.

They took a broken heart and healed it.

Soft, stolen touches, kisses just our own.

They made me theirs, and that’s the way I’ll stay.

No, I can’t say goodbye. I can’t say it’s over.

But I can say I love you.

Every stolen joke, every bitter argument, they fill me up.

No, I can’t say goodbye, but I can say I love you.

The song carries on, bringing tears to my eyes.

When she finishes, we hear a deep breath. “Trust me,” she whispers before the tape cuts out, leaving us all in shocked, confused silence.

What is Beck Danvers up to?

SIXTY-SEVEN

My bag was already packed before the show. I sneaked back and did it, knowing I wouldn’t have long to grab it and go. If they caught me, they never would let me go, and I wouldn’t be strong enough to rip myself from their arms.

I grabbed it and ran, wearing a huge coat to cover my outfit. The taxi driver gave me a worried look but said nothing as I had him drop me off in the middle of the outskirts of the city. I don’t want anyone to find me, not yet, so I walk.

I have no direction in mind, but when I find it, I’ll know. One hand is wrapped around the cross they gave me, holding them close, while the other holds my bag. I have some of their stolen shirts in there, needing to keep them close, but I left everything else. I only took what I started with because I plan to go back. I have to. This can’t end this way.

A cold drop hits my cheek, startling me from my thoughts, and my head jerks up. I eye the pitch-black sky as it bursts open, soaking me through to my bones.

I stand under the downpour with my eyes closed and head tipped back, letting it wash me clean.

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