Page 129 of Rebel

“I love it,” he tells Rachel, even though she didn’t ask, and we all know he’s talking about me. “It’s perfect.”

Rolling my eyes, I quickly straighten my clothes and stumble from the room, grinning as she turns to me, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “I like the bed.”

“Really? You like the bus?” She seems happy and completely oblivious as Trav’s hand grabs my ass.

Smoothing my hair, I grin at Rachel. “I like it.”

FIFTY-EIGHT

We are on the road bright and early, and we are all excited. I’m nervous, but the guys are singing loudly to the radio, and I eventually unwind. Whatever this tour holds, we’ll do it together. I might be completely inexperienced, but they aren’t, and I know they won’t let me fuck up.

I try to relax, and for a while, it works. We drive for only two hours before we arrive at the first venue, and it all becomes too real too quickly. I stand on the stairs of the bus, staring up at the huge stadium. It’s midmorning, but cars are driving in and out of the back loading dock where we are. I don’t know what half of them are doing, but it’s a hive of activity.

The building is huge, and tonight, it will be filled.

“Oh, fuck me, I can’t do this. Who the hell do I think I am?”

“Breathe.” Trav takes my hand. “Think of one thing at a time. For example, just walk to the venue, then to the dressing room. We take this one step at a time.”

Nodding, I follow his advice, breathing through my panic as they call out and greet the crew. “We’ll introduce you to everyone later. Let’s just get you in and around for now,” Trav explains, holding my hand the entire time. He probably thinks I’ll run, and he wouldn’t be wrong.

I’m debating bolting.

I focus on his warmth, his words, and just head into the venue. That’s it. Nothing else. Once I’m inside, I walk down the corridor, nothing more.

The guys seem to know where they are going, which is good because Rachel gets pulled away to deal with something and we are left to our own devices. “That’s the green room,” Trav murmurs, pointing out a room. “These are our dressing rooms for tonight,” he points out more, and I just nod robotically.

“Are you ready to stand on stage?” he asks, turning to me. I swallow and meet his gaze. He steps in front of me, blocking everything else. “Breathe, Beck, seriously.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just so?—”

“Real,” he finishes. “I know, but you’re not alone. You’re with us. You can do this.”

I take some deep breaths, and when I’ve calmed a bit, he leads me through the corridors and onto the stage.

Swallowing hard, I glance around, feeling very small and insignificant for a moment. The stage is a semicircle with a long section leading off into the crowd. Barriers are being erected, but there are so many rows of seats that I nearly puke.

So many seats, so many people, so many eyes.

All knowing I don’t belong.

I have never felt that so strongly as I do standing here. I’m just a woman who conned her way into this band, into their beds and hearts. I don’t belong, but they don’t seem to care as they point out things to me, not realizing I’m silent.

“You’ll feel better after sound check,” Kolton promises, no doubt realizing I’m anxious as hell. “It gets easier every time, I promise.”

“First time we performed, I vomited right up until we went on,” Chase says with a grin.

“I had to get drunk to go on stage the first time we played a sold-out stadium, and I cried after.” Kolton shrugs.

“See?” Trav says, gesturing around. “We are all nervous, baby. It’s been a while for us too, but we are in this together. I promise. We’ll feel it all together, and you’ll find your home on this stage. You’ll find your religion, and rock will become your church.”

They are right. During sound check, I start to unwind. I get a feel for the stage, and the first time I run through the opening songs, I barely move before Chase and Kolton start to dance around me, and then I can’t help but laugh and join in. They show me that it’s okay to move, and all the training from the choreographers comes back and I slip naturally into the routines.

It helps if I focus on them and not the sprawling arena. I will undoubtedly freak out at the sight of all the people tonight, but I’m determined to do this. All those eyes on me? They will be nothing compared to what I have conquered.

I stole the hearts of three rock stars, so what’s a couple thousand fans?

Once sound check is done, I leave the crew to get everything organized. They worked like a well-oiled machine—merch stands are erected, the set is put together, and lights and sound are assembled. It’s utter chaos to watch, but every single person knows exactly what they should be doing. It’s incredible.

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