Page 54 of Rebel

TWENTY-SIX

“Ididn’t expect her to actually do it,” Chase mutters, putting on his shirt as we walk through the lobby. “But fuck, I’m glad she did. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that. No wonder you’re so obsessed, Kolt.”

As angry as I am at Chase, I want to grovel at his feet in gratitude for daring her to kiss us. It might not have been the way I wanted to kiss Beck Danvers, but fucking hell, what a kiss. Chase is right about that. I’ve never been kissed like that. I felt my whole world fucking shift around me, and I was completely lost. It’s never been that intense, and all I can think about is kissing her again.

I don’t even care that she kissed Chase, but I do worry about Kolton. I’m jealous they hooked up, but he knew I was into her. I’m also happy for him. If he can touch Beck and they like each other, does that mean we are getting in the way?

Is he angry at us?

Shit, everything is so messy. No wonder Chase wanted the pact. For once, though, it’s not just him messing everything up. “We should talk. Come on, let’s hash it out.”

We find a quiet café away from the buzz and sit outside in the courtyard. The heaters are off this time of year, and after ordering, we wait for the waitress to leave. She looks bored and uninterested, but you never know. She might have recognized us and is listening in, so I keep my voice low.

“I think we should talk about what happened,” I begin.

“Sure, I have no regrets though. I didn’t think she would actually do it. I thought she’d slap me and get her anger out.” Chase chuckles. I dart my eyes to Kolton, who is sitting back in his chair, watching us, and Chase winces.

“Are you comfortable with what happened?” I ask Kolt. “You clearly like Beck.”

“As do you.” He nods and then smiles when I shrug. “I’m fine. Okay, I was a little jealous and angry at first, but I actually didn’t mind watching.”

“You dirty dog!” Chase barks out a laugh.

Kolt grins but rolls his eyes. “I just mean that as long as she’s okay with it, so am I. We aren’t dating. She never mentioned anything about being exclusive, so I can’t hold her to my standard simply because I don’t want anyone else but her. We had fun, and I really like being around her. Yes, I like her a lot, okay?”

“We know,” Chase says softly, “and you’re okay with touching her?”

It’s not jealousy or pity. It’s a genuine question filled with hope.

I await his answer with bated breath, knowing how much Kolton’s struggled. If he can find happiness with Beck, I’m all for it—as long as he doesn’t ask me to back away, because I don’t think I would be able to anyway.

“I don’t feel anything but desire when I’m with her. There were some . . . uncomfortable memories, but she helped me through them,” he admits.

We quiet down when our drinks arrive, thanking our waitress, and when she’s gone, I say, “Then I guess we wait for her next move. It’s all up to her.”

“True, but are we all okay with sharing her?” Chase asks.

“As long as it doesn’t cause issues in the band, then I’m okay with it,” I reply. I don’t think I could sway her away from Kolton anyway, and her and Chase have an insane amount of chemistry that lights up the room when they are together. If I can have her while keeping my band together, then I’ll do whatever it takes.

“I’m okay as long as she’s comfortable and happy,” Kolton adds.

Chase nods. “Okay, then we leave it to Beck.”

He’s being extra thoughtful today, and I eye him as he sips his coffee. Is it because of the shit I said? Part of me wants to ignore it and pretend we are all okay, but I know unresolved emotions aren’t good for someone still struggling with addiction.

“I’m sorry, Chase, about what I said yesterday. It was unfair and cruel. Yes, you’ve made mistakes, and yes, sometimes I get frustrated, but you are my friend. You’re like a brother to me, and we’ll figure it out together. I shouldn’t have taken my worry and frustration out on you. That wasn’t fair.”

“You weren’t totally wrong,” Chase admits, playing with his coffee and spoon. “It’s time I stopped blaming my addiction for everything. I want to be better, I really do, and I’m trying.”

“We know,” Kolton says. “We really do.”

“You guys are brothers to me. You are the only people who stood by me through it all. I would hate to think I was hurting you in any way,” he murmurs. Chase isn’t good with emotions, but he has gotten better through group therapy, and it’s nice to see him express them. “Just tell me next time, okay? I know you didn’t used to call me on my shit in case it sent me spiraling, but I’m a big boy. Call me on it.”

“You got it.” I nod.

“Like how that shirt is horrible?” Kolt grins, and we can’t help but laugh. Everything seems to go back to normal between us.

Drinking my coffee, I watch the world go by outside. “I think we should do something nice for her, you know? She’s in a new city, joining our band and the tour. It’s been a lot, then add us all lusting after her . . . We should get her a gift or something, show her we’re not just . . . I don’t know. Maybe that’s dumb.”

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