Page 14 of Rebel

His jaw ticks, and he glances out of the window. “Addiction requires healing and talking, so yes, I have a therapist.” He turns his dark gaze on me, making me want to shrink. “Problem, pretty girl?” It’s an insult this time. He’s ready to fight.

“Not at all, that’s very healthy of you and not what I expected at all,” I admit and then glance back at Trav. “So today is just a promo shoot. What does that mean?”

Chase groans. “Fuck, are we going to have to teach you everything?”

“Shut up, old man,” Kolton grumbles. “Remember when you went to a shoot and thought it was live? We all started somewhere.”

“We don’t have time to teach her everything though,” Chase snaps, breaking whatever truce existed between us. He was nice to me all day yesterday, and I didn’t know how to handle it.

I’m better with his venom. It makes it easier.

“Well, make time,” I say. “You need me, remember? You chose me, and I’m doing the best I can here.”

“We know,” Trav interrupts, glaring at Chase who huffs and looks away. “Before the tour, we do promo shoots to help advertise, and since we need a new album cover, we’ll do that and merchandise photos as well. Everything is riding on this tour, so they aren’t sparing any expense. There will be billboards, posters, advertisements?—”

“So don’t fuck it up,” Chase interrupts.

Can he still sing without balls?

“So make sure to smile,” Trav says over him, “but we’ll be right there with you. It will be okay, and then tomorrow, we’ll practice. We negotiated for a stage we used when we first started. It’s soundproof and private, and it will give you a good idea of what to expect so we can fit in your performance and work on it. We only have a few months until we leave, and the first time can be terrifying, so we’ll work through any kinks. Don’t worry at all.”

Nodding, I sip the coffee even as butterflies take flight inside me. Why didn’t I think so far ahead? I’ll have to perform. Unless I’m done before then, I’ll have to sing in front of thousands of people who are judging me and wondering who I am.

Fuck.

Chase is right. I’m going to fuck up.

Kolton squeezes my hand like he senses my thoughts. “You’ll do great, Becks,” he murmurs. “Just do what you did in front of us. We can fix the showman side, but not the talent side, and you have natural talent. Everything will be okay. You’ll see.”

TEN

Iwas poked and prodded for hours once we reached the studio. I’ve already been told they can edit anything in post-production, including the background since they scouted areas, but today is about the base, about us, selling sex and perfection.

Rock and roll, baby.

When I’m placed in front of the camera, I seize up. I don’t mind photos, but with all the lights and people watching, I can barely breathe, positive they can see right through me to the truth. My heart races, and I know the smile on my lips is more of a grimace, especially when the photographer leans around his camera and frowns at me.

“What’s wrong, Beck?”

“Oh, um, nothing,” I respond, my voice tight. “Sorry, I’m ready.”

I swallow my nerves and try my best to smile, but after a few clicks, he sighs. “Okay, this isn’t working. Do you hate photos or something?”

“Uh . . .”

“You need to relax and make it look natural. No one will buy an album where you look terrified. You need to own the camera. You look constipated?—”

“Enough,” Trav barks, and a hand suddenly hits my shoulder and spins me until I face my new bandmates. Trav looks worried, Kolton looks annoyed, and Chase looks confused.

Great, more prying eyes.

Trav kneels, blocking anyone from listening. “Relax, that’s it, just breathe for me.” I suck in a breath like he instructs as he takes one with me. “And let it out. Good, again.” I breathe slowly, calming my racing heart. The heat of his hands in mine centers me. I still feel eyes on my back, but Kolton and Chase move to block anyone from seeing me.

They are protecting me, but I don’t know why.

Maybe they are just worried I’ll storm out and they will be up shit creek again, but not Trav because I see worry in his gaze. He’s unable to hide it. “That’s it, keep breathing and ignore them. There is no one else here. Just us.”

I nod and breathe slowly until I slump. “I’m sorry.”

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