Page 36 of Recklessly in Love

He grins and nods. “I know. I’m not mad. In fact …” he leans forward and hauls my legs up so I’m lying flat on the couch under him. “I think you deserve something for what was evidently a fantastic performance.”

I bite into my lip. “Yeah? Like what?”

He smiles and dips down to run his nose down my neck and between my breasts, stopping to place a kiss on my now-exposed navel. “I don’t know, what do you want?”

I take a deep breath. And I let the dirty thoughts pass through my head because those are fleeting desires.

“I want to know what we’re doing here,” I say honestly.

He sits up, brows raised. “Seriously?”

I scoot back up to a sitting position, wrapping my arms around my legs. While I’m not usually self-conscious, I’ve never had a conversation like this. With anyone. Ever.

“Seriously,” I confirm with a trace of irritation. “Obviously, we’re enjoying ourselves, but what is this? I know we said it’s more than sex. But how much more?”

“How much more do you want it to be?” he parries.

I flinch at his response. “I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “I mean, I have a condo in Seattle. I could go back there and start looking for a job.”

“Or?” he asks, sensing the implied choice.

“Or I could stay here for a while and use my time to pursue making Alpine Ridge official and handling all the legalities that come with that. From my preliminary research, that’s no small task, and it would require someone with my knowledge and contacts to pull it off.”

“Are we going to pretend like that’s not exactly what you’re planning to do?” he asks with a smirk.

I scrunch my nose and press my lips together to keep from smiling. Shit, he already knows me too well. “No. But even if I do, that doesn’t mean I have to keep staying with you. I mean, this is your sacred space. It occurred to me that I might already be intruding on that.”

“Occurred to you, or Mia told you we’re going too fast?” he asks bluntly.

Fuck, he clearly also knows Mia too well.

When I don’t answer, he slides close to me and takes my face in his hands. “You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to, Joanie, but I fucking love having you in my bed. In my life. And I loved coming home to you today. I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’m not saying I want you to live here permanently yet … but I also don’t want you to go. Beyond that?” He strokes his thumb over my cheek and looks deeply into my eyes. “While I’ve never cared much about getting married, I’ll admit that I want someone to share this life with.”

His eyes continue to search mine, and I feel the words he’s not saying. I want to share this life with you.

A knot forms in my throat. I can’t tell if it’s fear or love. This is new territory for me, but I realize I’m falling for Greg. And he’s clearly falling for me.

I should find it comforting that we both seem to have a healthy fear of it because love isn’t something to be taken lightly. Nor is commitment. I’ve never been good at either. But with Greg, I want to try.

I nod softly and let him make love to me on the couch. Everything feels so much … more. By the time we curl up in bed that night, Greg’s warm body wrapped around mine, I’m no less concerned about whether this is the life for me or a pitstop.

But as Greg pulls me closer in his sleep, I can’t ignore how my heart clenches at the thought of leaving him.

Shit. When did this get so complicated?

I close my eyes, pushing the doubts away. I’ll figure it out. I always do.

But for now, I’m exactly where I want to be.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

JOANIE

The community center is a flurry of activity as we all pitch in to decorate for the New Year’s Eve party Greg decided to have earlier this week. Mia, Nate, Rae, and I have been here for hours, hanging streamers, setting up tables, and generally helping Greg make the place look festive.

Since I didn’t think there would be any time to change, I did it all in my halter-necked champagne sequined bodycon dress. But if I can litigate in four-inch heels, I can sure as hell decorate in a tight outfit. I also got to watch Greg working in his own tailored black dress shirt and tight black pants. It was worth it.

Looking around, I’m pretty satisfied with what we’ve accomplished. Nate made a trip to Costco, and you can tell by looking at the two joined long, loaded buffet tables. We’re not lacking food or alcohol. And with Mia around, we’re never lacking for sweet treats. Positioned at one end of the tables are cupcakes with sparklers waiting to be lit; at the other end, round sugar cookies decorated to look like clocks striking midnight, and toward the middle, a large tray with two types of macarons, white chocolate ones arranged in the new year’s numbers and dark pink raspberry ones arranged around the numbers to make them pop.

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