Page 52 of Recklessly in Love

“Why now? Why like this?”

“I get that this seems abrupt. But it’s been months since I left that note, Greg. And when you called, I was thinking about you. That means something, I know it.”

I shake my head, overwhelmed by the sudden strange turn to the day. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I withdraw it only to see Joanie’s name. And the time. Shit. She’s probably wondering why I haven’t let her know I was headed back already.

“I’ve got to take this,” I murmur, answering the call.

Hailey stands up, clearly agitated, and just as I hear Joanie say “Hello?” in my ear, Hailey says, “Is it her? Does she really mean more to you than me? You wanted to marry me, Greg.”

And then Joanie hangs up. I pull the phone from my ear and confirm that the call ended.

“Fuck,” I curse. I look up at Hailey, trying not to let my anger get the best of me. “I don’t know where this desperation is coming from, but you do not come into my house, my life, and make demands of me like this. The woman I love now probably thinks I’m cheating on her, thanks to you. Get out, Hailey. And move on, like I did.”

Hailey draws in a breath. “If she thinks you’d cheat, she obviously doesn’t know you,” she pushes. “Not like I do.”

I throw up my hands in disgust. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” I press my lips together and take a deep breath, so I don’t go nuclear. “You dumped me. Years ago. You don’t know jack shit about me. If you’d ever known me, you wouldn’t have been worried about a bunch of pre-teen girls’ crushes. But you know what? You haven’t changed. You still need to grow the fuck up and stop living in a fantasy. Get out, Hailey. And don’t ever contact me again.” Hailey opens her mouth, and I can feel the protest coming before she utters a word. “Now,” I growl in the harshest tone I can manage, cutting her off before she can start up again.

And thank God she finally has the sense to look worried. She scampers out the door and is gone. And the whole episode has given me whiplash and one big fucking headache. A headache that I know has only just begun.

I immediately try to call Joanie back, but she doesn’t answer. Worry gnaws at my gut as I hop in my truck and drive back to Alpine Ridge. Hoping I can get there before Joanie decides to take off. Because I know my city girl, she’s been afraid of committing this whole time. Afraid of telling me that she loves me too, of what that means for her future. And I’d bet every penny I have that this is the excuse she’s been looking for to turn tail and run from her feelings.

I make record time getting back to my place, but it still doesn’t feel fast enough. And when I walk inside, Joanie sits on the couch with her packed bag at her feet. My heart sinks.

“Joanie, please, let me explain,” I plead.

She looks at me, her blue eyes guarded. But she nods. So I launch into the whole story: how Hailey left a note, how I stupidly agreed to let her come over, how she wanted to get back together, but I turned her down unequivocally.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It was nothing, I swear,” I finish, reaching for her hand.

She allows the contact and a fraction of the tightness in my chest eases.

“I know,” she admits. And I swear my shoulders drop a foot. A small, sad smile pulls at her lips. “But it made me realize that there’s still a lot I don’t know about you. And that this —” she gestures between us “— is going so fast.”

I let my head drop into her lap with a sigh. “Maybe, but every relationship goes at its own pace,” I reply. I look back up into her eyes. “Tell me you’re not falling as fast as I am, Joanie, and I’ll give you all the space you need.”

Her eyes shine in the dimming afternoon light. “I am. And honestly, I was trying not to freak out about it before I heard that you were planning to marry your ex once upon a time.” She tilts her head back, blinking hard.

“That wasn’t me,” I explain. “That was all my parents. Or what I thought I was supposed to be doing to make them happy, anyway. When she broke up with me, I was just as relieved as I was upset, even though it took me a long time to realize it was because I didn’t want to marry her. And I never felt about her the way I feel about you.”

Joanie’s head tips forward, and a manic laugh escapes her lips. “That. That right there is what I’m trying not to freak out about.”

My brows slam together. “So you’re not upset that it sounded like I was spending time with my ex behind your back but that I’m more in love with you than I ever was with her?”

She snaps her fingers and points at me. “Bingo.” A single tear escapes her shimmering eyes and skitters down her cheek. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know if I want to do this or if I’m just caught up in how good it feels to be with you.”

I pull back, stung by her words, but she grabs my hands before I can withdraw.

“That’s not about you, Greg.” She so rarely uses my name outside of orgasming. The few times she has, it’s gone straight to my heart. But this time, it’s like a knife.

“I know,” I say thickly.

“Do you?” she asks earnestly, leaning forward. “I’m not sure I understood how much I prized my independence until you made me want to give it up.”

I shake my head. “I would never ask that of you.”

She shakes her head, and a few more tears skitter out. “I know. I wouldn’t have even wanted to if you were the type of man who would. But it’s because you are …” She trails off, closing her eyes, pushing more tears down her cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away.

When she opens her eyes, I can see her resolve to leave. But I’ve listened, too. And I know she’s closer than ever to giving in to this. I just need to push through this with her. However, she needs that to happen.

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