Page 51 of Recklessly in Love

Unfortunately, I know myself. And if I don’t call, I’ll always wonder why the woman who dumped me after six years together suddenly wants to talk to me. It could be as simple as her wanting to get together for old times’ sake. But it could also be a secret child she’s been hiding from me. Doubtful, since we were way more careful than I’ve been with Joanie, which should tell me how I felt about Hailey all along. Still, the possibilities are endless.

So, in the end, my curiosity gets the better of me, and I dial her number.

“Hello?” Her voice stirs the dusty corners of my mind, and not so much in a good way.

“Hey, Hailey, it’s Greg,” I say awkwardly. “I just found your note.”

“Greg, oh my God, hi,” Hailey replies, sounding surprised and pleased. “Thanks for calling.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I respond, trying to keep my tone neutral. “What’s up?”

“I was hoping we could talk in person. I have something important I want to discuss with you. Are you in Seattle?”

“I am, but I’m heading out in a bit,” I respond.

“Oh. I see. I mean … I can come over now if you have a few minutes?”

I hesitate; I’m not sure I want to open that can of worms. But I find myself agreeing anyway. Curiosity and all. “Sure, I guess that’d be okay.”

“Awesome. I’ll head over now. See you soon.”

I barely have time to register what the fuck I just agreed to before Hailey is knocking on the door less than fifteen minutes later.

I open it expecting to feel something. But even though her blond hair is the same cascade of golden waves, and she wears the same tight T-shirt, a light blue this time, and jeans she’s always favored that show off her huge chest and tiny waist, all I feel is wary.

“Hey,” I greet her.

She grins and launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and squeezing me tight. “I missed you,” she breathes against my ear. Her heavily perfumed smell wraps around me, and I shake off all the sense memories that go with that as I gently press her away.

“Why don’t you come in and tell me what’s up,” I offer, stepping back and gesturing toward the living room.

She nods and heads in, sitting on one end of the light grey three-seater couch. She looks up at me earnestly as I settle on the other end.

“I’m just going to cut right to the chase because seeing you makes me feel even more like no time has passed, and I know you need to get going soon,” she begins, then takes a deep breath. “Letting you go was a mistake. I want us to get back together.”

I blink in surprise; this is a huge shock. “Wow, that’s … unexpected. But we haven’t spoken in years, Hailey. We can’t just … get back together,” I reply slowly. “I’m not who I was back then. And I have no idea who you are now or where you’re at.” I take a deep breath, gentling my voice. “But most importantly, I’m with someone else now. I’ve moved on. Haven’t you?”

“I’ve tried. But I can’t stop thinking about you,” she admits, twisting her fingers in the long strands of hair that flow over her shoulder.

I shake my head. “I can’t say the same. I’m sorry.”

“But … we were together for six years, Greg.” She slides closer, dropping her hand on my knee. “And we were so good together. Don’t you remember?”

I wrap my fingers over hers and gently remove them from my leg. “I remember. I also remember you leaving me.”

“I know. And I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry. Surely that means something to you?”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “It does,” I admit. “I’m glad you realize it was a mistake, at least.” I don’t say it, but it hurt me a lot more than I wanted to admit for a long time that I was so easy to leave after giving her all those years. After thinking we might be headed toward marriage. “But that doesn’t change anything.”

Hailey grabs my retreating hand and squeezes. “But it does. It changes everything. How long have you been seeing the person you’re with?”

I shrug lightly, not sure I like where she’s going with this. And then I pause, realizing with a start that it’s only been about a month with Joanie. Given the depth of my feelings for her, it feels like so much longer.

“Not long. Just about a month,” I admit. “But that doesn’t change anything. We’re over, Hailey.”

She leans forward, placing her hand on my knee. “See, but I’ve had the same problem. I can only date someone for a few months before I realize they’re just not you. It hasn’t been the same for you? Surely all our years together mean more than a month with this woman?”

I pull back and stand up. This is nuts. Why now? And I can’t help but blurt that out.

---