Page 99 of Gilded Fake

“I didn’t ruin my life,” I say quietly. “You did.”

I don’t know why I even came to school today. I should have just slept for a thousand years. Now it’s too late. Even if I crawl back into my car, I’m too tired to drive home. I’m too tired to even fight for Colt.

That’s why I’m here. He’s my reason, the only reason I’ve had for so long I can’t remember another one. I wanted one more chance to talk to him, to explain myself, before school ends and he’s gone forever, taken on that gust of wind I prayed would snatch up Dixie. For him, I could drag myself to school after a night of panic that sapped every drop of energy from my collapsed veins, after years of being wound so tight I’m left brittle and fragile, ready to snap at any moment. Now I stand here, a butterfly wing with all the shine worn away, translucent and so depleted I can barely move, let alone fight.

Without him, I have no reason to.

“It’s simple, really,” Dixie says, her voice strong and calm, her face fresh and well rested. “I’ve always been smarter than you. I just had to find your weakness. At first, I thought it was your status, but you were never the real queen. The Dolces may have passed you off as royalty, but you were only a gold-plated imitation. Once I realized you didn’t care about that, I had to find what you do care about. It wasn’t that hard. And now I’ve set in motion your true demise. You may have won a few battles, but I won the war, and that’s all that matters.”

“What war?” I ask, rubbing my temples. I’m aware in some distant part of my brain that it’s a gesture I’ve picked up from Colt, but I’m too tired to find any humor in it.

Vaguely, I notice the crowd gathering in the rows of cars on either side of us, but I don’t look at them. I have no allies here. Even my sisters are strangers to me now.

“The war to determine the true queen,” Dixie says, pulling her phone from her pocket. “It’s bigger than Colt, of course. That was the last element of my three-prong approach. The first was to go into the strip club and get you fired. It wasn’t that hard. Apparently they have a strict policy about selling your body for money. Don’t take it personally, Lo. Prostitution is illegal, after all. They wouldn’t risk the whole operation being shut down just because one stripper is such a nympho she can’t keep from impaling herself on the first dick that comes into the room every night.”

“Liar,” I growl at her again, my heart hammering in my chest. I hear the gasps and giggles from the onlookers, but I don’t even spare them a glance. I don’t care that the whole school knows what I do. The only person I care about already knows.

“Am I?” Dixie asks, widening her eyes. “Mr. North didn’t seem to think so. I guess it’s my word against yours. Which one of us is known for years of integrity, and which is known to have been counterfeit since day one?”

“Why do you even care where I work?” I demand.

“Just in case Colt gets any ideas about going back there,” she says with a shrug. “He came over last night to apologize, and one thing led to another, and I won him back the way I always do. I’ll always forgive him, Gloria. I’ll take him back no matter what. I can’t live without him, and he knows that, so he will always come back.”

“If you can’t live without him, then why aren’t you dead?” I ask flatly. “He’s left you a hundred times. Why don’t you just die already?”

“Because he’s come back a hundred and one times,” she says, lifting her chin. “I’d do anything for him. Can you say the same? You said you’d never fight for a man. That if he wanted to, he would. That means you’ll never win. Because I will always fight for Colt.”

I grip my open door, my head pounding at her words.

“But this time he cheated, and even though he swore he’d never do it again, I can’t risk it,” she goes on. “He’s a weak man—all cheaters are. I’m strong, so I’m going to do everything in my power to help him keep his word. Everyone knows the best insurance is to remove the temptation. So I removed you.”

“What are you going to do, lock him in your basement?” I ask. “Attaching yourself to him like a leach for four years didn’t work. That’s what you’re forgetting, Dixie. He’s a person with free will. If he wants to find me, he will.”

“That’s why I’m giving you a chance to do the right thing,” she says. “I’m warning you one more time. Stay away from him. In a few months, we’ll be gone. He’ll follow me to college. Then you can have Faulkner to yourself.”

She pulls out her phone and thumbs it on.

“Oh, and one more thing. The final element of my plan to destroy you. I contacted Yale to let them know what kind of person you really are, beyond the sob story you no doubt used on your application. As if you’ve ever known a hardship beyond your pretty privilege failing to keep you on the throne.”

“What?” I whisper, horror sinking into my heart with a cold anguish. Yale was what kept me going for so long, the hope of getting out. Even when I’d lost Colt, when I thought he loved her and I would have to live with that loss forever, I always had hope because I had Yale.

“In case you don’t believe me about Colt, here’s all the proof you need,” Dixie says, turning her phone so I can see the screen. It’s a picture of her and Colt in bed together. His arm pillows her head; his eyes are half open and unfocused; a lazy, drugged smile stretches across his face. She’s cuddled up to his familiar body, smiling up into the camera.

“So you drugged him again?” I ask, but my voice is a croak that lacks any conviction. “That’s how you got him to agree to take you back?”

“I didn’t do anything,” she says with a smug smile, pocketing her phone. “He took them all on his own—the same way he always has when he’s with you. The difference is, he still wanted me when he was sober. He never wanted you unless he was fucked up. So if he can’t make up his mind when he’s on the pills, then he never made up his mind to be with you.”

She raises her chin in a self-righteous pose that makes the fury pounding through my veins erupt like the volcano that’s been simmering under the surface for so long.

“Get out of my way,” I grit out through clenched teeth.

“Not until you agree to leave him alone,” she says, crossing her arms again.

The crowd is murmuring, but I don’t bother reading them. I don’t care. I’m so fucking tired of them, of her, of this same damn fight. I’ve already lost, but she won’t stop kicking me in the teeth every time I claw back an inch of the ground she’s taken. And now, there’s no more ground to gain.

It’s all gone. The losses crash into me, hammering inside my chest, twisting the bars of the cage on my heart, tearing them open.

My father. My brother. My sisters. My mother.

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