Page 85 of Foolish Games

“Bastian,” Deane says, dropping his toys and slipping off his bed. “I’m hungry.”

“I have to go,” I tell Viv, and I hang up and toss the phone down before pulling my little brother onto my knee.

“Tell you what,” I tell him. “I’ll make y’all some food, and then you’re going to go to bed, and I’m going to go see some friends. But Mel will be here if you wake up while I’m gone.”

“Okay,” he says brightly, like he doesn’t know he’s the fucking hallucination of an island keeping me going right now. For him, I can take a few more strokes. If I keep telling myself I’m almost there, maybe somehow, I’ll reach the shore.

“Okay, little man,” I say, standing and picking him up under my arm like a football. He lets out a burst of screaming giggles as I haul him out of our room, his arms and legs outstretched as I zoom into the living room and toss him onto the couch. Melody and Caitlyn are already sitting there under a blanket, the TV reflected in their eyes.

I slog into the kitchen, letting the smile slip from my face. I put on water for spaghetti and get out a jar of sauce. Keeping busy keeps me from sinking. Sure, I’d rather crawl into bed with my clothes still on and go to sleep, but Mom’s at work, and they need to eat.

So for them, I take a few more strokes.

And afterwards, I call Billy, because I’m afraid that one of these days, when I finally crawl in bed, I won’t be able to get back out.

“We picking up your girl tonight?” Lexi asks when I climb up into the cab of Billy’s truck an hour later.

“Not tonight,” I say. “She’s dragging me to some snooty masquerade thing tomorrow, so I figure I’ll have to do my real partying tonight.”

“You got an invite to the Darling New Year’s party?” Billy asks, giving a low whistle. “Damn.”

“It’s a ball,” I point out. “We served at one of those. You know what those people are like.”

“Nah, man,” he says. “It’s a real fucking party. I hear they got all the drugs you can take, and not the shitty kind that’s half baking soda, either. The good stuff.”

“Pure as freshly fallen snow,” Lexi says from where she’s squeezed into the middle seat.

“Damn,” I say. “So I’m being an ungrateful bastard by not licking Vivienne’s ass for giving me an invite?”

“Pretty much,” Billy says. “Hell, if you’re not down for it, I’ll take her.”

“Billy loves licking rich lady ass,” Lexi says.

“Bitch, I will make you walk.”

“No, you won’t,” she says. “You love me too much.”

“I’m gonna swing around Mill and see if any of the crew want to go cruising tonight,” Billy says.

“How do you know so much about this party?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Jake Darling told me when I was doing some work at his place the other day.”

“Oh, now he’s Jake?” I ask.

“Maybe it’s not just the rich ladies’ asses he licks,” Lexi says.

“Fuck off,” Billy says, reaching over to shove her head. “You’re just jealous that I nailed Mrs. Darling II, and you can’t even pick up daddies at the playground anymore.”

“Well, you have an unfair advantage,” she says, crossing her arms and pouting. “The rich ladies don’t hire pool girls. It’s sexist.”

Billy laughs. “Yeah, because they know you’d fuck their husbands.”

“You fuck their wives!” she says, throwing up her hands.

“Yeah, but the wives are the ones hiring,” he points out. “They want eye candy for themselves while they’re sitting home bored. They’re not going to dangle eye candy under their husbands’ noses and get cheated on in their own home. Those dudes are already all banging their secretaries and interns.”

“Hey, if the president can do it…” I say.

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