Page 76 of Foolish Games

That’s my family, everything permanent in my life.

Vivienne made it clear we’re nothing.

With a hollow feeling in my gut, I pull the wad of black lace from my pocket and hold it up. “The panties don’t lie,” I say, letting them swing from my finger. “Pay up, bitches.”

twenty-two

#1 at the Box Office: Scream 2

Vivienne Delacroix

On Sunday evening, I’m at my desk trying to figure out a calculus problem and how to stop thinking about Sebastian Swift, when my phone rings. I’m not proud of the fact that I dive across the bed for it like my brother dives for loose footballs on the field.

I am officially pathetic.

“Hello?” I ask, trying not to sound all breathy and stupid, even though it’s exactly how I feel. I haven’t heard from Sebastian since I dropped him off yesterday morning, but I’ve barely thought about anything else. This is why I said sex isn’t casual for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. Maybe it freaked him out, and that’s why he hasn’t called. God knows it’s not serious for him.

“Hey,” says a familiar voice after a short pause.

“Chaz?” I ask, sitting up and straightening myself, feeling as foolish as if he saw me do that flying leap for the phone.

Chaz and I were sensible. We didn’t love each other in the flying leap kind of way.

“Yeah,” he says. “Of course. Who’d you think it was?”

“You,” I say, since I have caller ID. I just didn’t bother checking in my manic grab for the phone. “Of course. What’s up?”

“We’re having quiz bowl practice at my place on Tuesday,” he says. “I thought maybe you’d want to come.”

“Oh,” I say, winding the cord around my finger. My parents got me my own line, with caller ID, but they were too cheap to get me a new cordless, so I inherited the old phone when they got the new one for the living room.

“So… You down?” Chaz asks. “I know it’ll be awkward at first, but I figure, we’re in all the same extracurriculars, and we’ve known each other for years. That doesn’t go away just because we broke up. I thought I’d be an adult about it and suggest that we can still be friends.”

“And how does Krissy feel about that?” I ask.

“We’re all adults,” he says. “She understands there’s nothing between us anymore.”

Nothing between us. No matter how much fun I’ve had with Sebastian, and god, how good the sex was, I barely know him.

I’ve been friends with Chaz for years. I’ve shared my insecurities, my fears, my dreams.

The only thing I’ve shared with Sebastian is my bed.

Okay, that’s not quite true. He knows about my family, my brother, my colleges of choice. But I always knew it wasn’t real or permanent. It was an arrangement to bring Chaz back to me. Maybe it’s finally working.

I should be more excited about that, but all I feel is a hollow pit in my stomach. I wanted it to be Sebastian on the line, not Chaz.

Which in and of itself is silly. He doesn’t even have the number for my line. He has my brother’s line, and it’s not like he can call Rob and ask for my number. Would he?

He’s just crazy enough that I wouldn’t totally put it past him.

But Chaz has my number already. He doesn’t have to do anything risky to get it. He’s safe, responsible, and reliable. He didn’t sleep with me and then leave me to wait for his call and wonder for days at a time.

“Sure,” I say, straightening my spine. “If Krissy’s okay with it, then I’m in. What time?”

“Great,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice, familiar after so many phone conversations with him. “Come over right after school. Mom will have snacks and probably order pizza. I’ll make sure she gets cheese for you.”

“Cool,” I say, the familiarity of the evening he described making me feel awkward instead of comfortable.

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