Page 67 of Blood Match

He doesn’t have to keep talking for me to read between the lines. I know what he’s saying.

I’m fucked.

22

Chapter 22

Rowan

“What’s wrong, sis? You look a million miles away.”

“Hmmm?” I lift my head, straightening my glasses as I look at my sister. She seems a bit foggy through the lenses, so I take them off. “Sorry. Just a lot on my mind.”

“I know what you mean.” Kara exhales, rubbing her eyes. She’s settled on the overstuffed couch in my living room, her legs curled beneath her. I’m sitting in much the same position in an armchair on the other side of the room.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, hoping that if we focus on her, I’ll be able to avoid any probing questions. There’s so much confusion swirling inside me that I’m afraid it will all peel out with just a little prompting.

No. I’m keeping this secret.

I curl my fingers, closing my hands. Though there hasn’t been any further sign of that power since I woke up from the dream Darick had taken me into last night.

Kara takes a sip from the mug I’d handed her shortly after she arrived half an hour ago. The tea is strong and fragrant – one of Gran’s favorite blends. She heaves another sigh. “I’m just…” She looks down into her mug. “I’m not ready to give up,” she says softly. “On Mia.”

I nod. “I know.”

“But you were so comfortable with it when Dad said we needed to hold the vigil.” Kara glances at me. “I thought you’d accepted that she’s gone.”

“I don’t want to. But it seems the only way for us to move on from this, Kara. The longer we hold on to hope, the longer we’ll be stuck in our grief.”

She frowns a little. “You sound just like Gran when you talk like that.”

“I’d like to think that’s a good thing.” I smile gently.

“So you’d give up on her. Just like that?”

“Not ‘just like that,’ Kara. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” I pinch my lips together for a second. “But what else can we do? Gran says she can’t feel her. If she could, that would give us hope. But it’s been so long. If she was out there, Gran would have felt her.”

“Well, I think we should try.” Kara has stiffened a little, as if resolve is straightening her spine. “I want us to try another Spirit Circle,” she says quickly.

My eyes widen, my mug paused halfway to my lips. “But… But we had a Starlight Vigil.”

“No, we didn’t. The vampires interrupted that, remember?” Kara shakes her head, taking a sip of tea before going on. “I’m going to ask Mom and Dad if we can gather a family Circle again.”

I can’t argue with her reasoning, but there’s more than one obstacle to this task. “We tried it already, Kara. At least a dozen times.” I sag back against my seat. Every family of witches is connected – by blood, by spirit… As long as we’re alive, a group of close relatives can join hands and reach out to each other. At least, in theory, we can do it. For the Blackwoods…not so much.

Because of me.

I’m the weakest link.

As if reading my mind, Kara raises a hand. “Rowan, I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t want you to say it.”

I bite my lip, then say it anyway, “Kara, I… I don’t think I’m strong enough. The Spirit Circle needs all of us to be at our full magical potential, and you know I’m—”

“Stop right there,” Kara interrupts. “I saw you during the attack, Ro. You cast spells. Real, effective spells. Maybe they aren’t earth-shattering yet, but your power is there, we just need to nurture it.”

“There’s nothing to nurture,” I mutter, although as I say it, I’m thinking of the surge of power I felt last night.

“But there is!” Kara’s voice is urgent. “Please, sis. I’ll help you.”

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