Page 104 of Three of a Kind

“I love this,” I say when I can finally form words without being concerned I’m going to burst into tears.

“Next gift.” Gunner grabs two more boxes, passing one to Libby. Maverick grabs the catalog, and Gunner puts the next gift down on my lap.

I glance over, and our boxes are once again about the same size.

Libby rips open her lid with a little help from Noble. She tugs out several sets of markers and special paper.

“Same as last time, kiddo. Those only work on that paper,” Maverick says with a laugh.

“I didn’t know you got that kind.” Smiling, I pat his thigh. “I briefly considered making you pry them away from her.”

Gunner chuckles. “We learned that lesson with my sisters’ kids.”

“I love it,” Libby declares, sliding off Noble’s lap. “I want to play now.”

“Here. I’ll help. Pick which set you want to open first,” Gunner says, leaning forward to help her get the package open.

She picks one, and he hands her back the coloring book and works on ripping open the markers.

Noble holds out the lid of the box, and Gunner drops them inside.

Libby stretches out on the floor, looking through the pictures.

“Thank you all.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “These were perfect courting gifts.”

Noble leans forward, resting his wrists on his knees as he smirks. “The pile isn’t gone yet.”

“Get to it, or Maverick will open them for you,” Gunner jokes. “He’s terrible about waiting for someone to open their gifts. I’m surprised he hasn’t blabbed about what they are.”

I focus back on the box in my lap, pulling off the lid.

The photo album on top says “Established in” and the year. It has a place in the middle to add a picture of your pack, and on the bottom, you can add the pack name.

The album under that makes my heart race. It’s a new baby photo album. Flipping it open, there are spots to place the baby’s first picture and footprints. There are lines for all the important information and extra pages for pictures and to fill in milestones.

“No pressure,” Gunner says, squeezing my knee. “But if you’re okay with it…there’s one more underneath.”

Folded in the bottom of the box is a pink T-shirt in Libby’s size that says “I’m the Big Sister.”

I don’t know why panic claws at my chest from the inside out. My eyes cut to Libby, but she’s happily coloring as Noble points to something on the page.

She’s my entire world.

And I know the new baby will be too.

It’s just…

I don’t know how to explain it.

There’s such an emotional disconnect with this pregnancy that I didn’t experience with Libby.

It’s likely a result of pure terror after long months of worrying what Avan would do when he found out. Hiding my pregnancy from the world took its own emotional toll.

Then, not even being able to prep Libby for the upcoming changes.

It all makes me feel like a complete failure. Like I’m not only failing Libby but also the new baby.

And I am excited.

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