Page 46 of Draven

I slide into the front pew, followed by Mom and then Dad. Mom cries silent tears as she stares at Kiera’s coffin while I clench my fists, all my energy taken up with keeping my own emotions in check and trying not to lose control. My throat burns, and I can’t seem to get enough air into my lungs.

Thirty minutes.

That’s all it takes for the pastor to share Kiera’s entire life with the mourners. One of Kiera’s high school friends speaks so eloquently, holding it together until the very last moment before her tears overflow. Even then, she chokes her way through the last few sentences, then stumbles back to her pew, her eyes red raw, and her bottom lip swollen from where she’s gnawed at it.

The sun bursts through the clouds when we all exit the church. Mom clutches my hand with a slight tremble to her fingers, but other than that small sign, she appears to be somewhat coping. We stand by Kiera’s graveside, but as her coffin is being lowered into the ground, I can’t bear to look. Instead, I lock gazes with Draven standing opposite, and use his strength to anchor myself while my emotions run riot. I have to dig my fingernails into my free hand to stop myself from having a complete meltdown.

I feel naked without Kiera, rudderless, adrift on a stormy sea without the one person I’ve always been able to rely on, no matter what. Now who do I have? Not Draven, that’s for sure. No one will ever be able to tie him down. The last week has proven that. Where has he been while I’ve quietly fallen apart? Sure, he’s turned up today, but that doesn’t mean anything.

Maybe he expects me to blame him for Kiera’s death. Maybe I do. I haven’t worked that part out yet, although deep down, I believe he saved my sister. The toxicology reports revealed a lethal cocktail of drugs in her system, and the doctor confirmed she hadn’t stood a chance of surviving, even if she hadn’t gotten shot. But at least this way, I got to hold her, kiss her, and sing to her one last time. I got to be with her at the end, and for that, I’m forever grateful.

When the mourners begin to dissipate, Mom and Dad go over to the pastor, no doubt to thank him for the service, leaving me wander back toward the parking lot. I’ll wait for my parents there.

“Rhodes. Got a minute?”

I pull up short and turn around slowly. “Sir,” I say to my boss. “Thanks for coming.”

He nods, shifting from one foot to the other, and I narrow my eyes at his antsy behavior. Shelton doesn’t do antsy.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“I need a word.”

He clasps my elbow, steering me away from the dispersing crowd. Stopping underneath an old oak tree, he scratches his cheek, then stuffs his hands into the pockets of his black pea coat.

“If this is about me returning to work, you don’t need to look so embarrassed, boss. I’m chomping at the bit to get back. I need normality, routine. To bury myself in so much work I don’t have time to think. I know I dropped you in it, but I’m ready to work for the state of New Jersey, twenty-four seven.”

“Rhodes, stop running your mouth for five seconds and listen up.”

Something in the tone of his voice, or maybe his body language, gives me an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Sir, what’s going on?”

“You’re in deep shit, that’s what’s going on.”

My skin prickles, adrenaline coursing through my veins. “What do you mean?”

“It means, Rhodes, that because of your little stunt at the warehouse, I’ve had the captain chewing my fucking ear off. Apparently, you screwed up a much bigger case by going in as you did.”

I press my hand to my throat. “What case?”

Shelton hitches his right shoulder. “Above my paygrade, according to the captain, and the FBI are incandescent.”

I widen my stance and fold my arms beneath my chest. “Did you really expect me to give up looking for my sister?”

“What I expected was for you to allow the feds to do their job.” He swipes a hand over his face. “If you’d called it in first, maybe the situation could have been managed, but you didn’t. What I’d like to know is why didn’t you?”

I close my eyes. Goddammit. If only Draven had listened to me like I’d asked him to. “Fuck.”

“Understatement of the century.”

I rub the space between my eyes. “What happens now?”

“I won’t sugarcoat this, Rhodes. You’re demoted, as of today.”

He may as well have physically punched me in the stomach. I recoil, stumbling back a few feet, clutching my abdomen. “Sir?—”

His hand flies in the air. “I didn’t want to do this today of all days, but you’re the talk of the precinct, and I couldn’t risk you finding out by some other means. You’re fucking lucky you haven’t been fired. Trust me, it was a close call. I believe in you, Rhodes, so I stuck my own neck on the line and fought your corner. This is a setback in your career, no doubt, but if you keep your head down, work hard, there’s nothing to say you can’t regain your rank within a few years.”

---