Page 55 of Drive To Survive

This was wrong. All wrong. She belonged with me. Everly and Rhett belonged right here where I could protect them and take care of them.

And love them.

“Don’t leave things like this between us. Please. Let me help you.”

I love you.

A sudden blow hit me right in my abdomen.

I love her.

Jesus. When had I fallen in love? My feelings for her had crept up on me, and only now did I realize how much she meant to me. Yet I couldn’t tell her. Not now. She wouldn’t believe me. She’d think I was using some kind of emotional blackmail to force her into staying when she’d asked for space.

Tears filled her eyes. She leaned her elbows on the breakfast bar and dropped her head into her hands. “This is a nightmare.”

“Let me help you,” I repeated, desperate to reach her somehow. I’d fall to my knees and beg if it stopped her from putting this distance between us. “Don’t push me away, Everly.”

“I’m not.” She shook her head. “Maybe I am. I don’t know. All I know for certain is that I have to put Rhett first. God, Nico, the happiness on his face when he saw Paul. I wanted to sweep him up into my arms and run as far away as possible, but I can’t do that. I can’t do that to Rhett. I have to at least give Paul the chance to explain and see if… ugh, I don’t know, see if I can ever trust him enough to let him back into Rhett’s life. To be a father to our son.”

I suppressed a wince. Rhett wasn’t mine, and yet these last few weeks in particular, he’d felt as if he was. The need to keep him safe, to keep them both safe, while Everly pushed me away bore a great fucking hole in the center of my chest.

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

She scrubbed her face hard, almost as if she were as frustrated with me as with Paul. “All I’m asking for is a little time. If you can’t give me that…” She jumped down from the stool.

I scrambled to my feet. “I can. I’ll give you as much time as you need. Just please don’t throw away what we have.”

She pressed her palm to my cheek, the first sign of affection she’d given me. I covered her hand with my own.

“I can’t make any promises, Nico. I don’t want to lose you, but Paul turning up out of the blue has tossed everything on its head. I have to put my life on hold for now. Only Rhett matters. You understand that, don’t you?”

I twisted my head and pressed my lips to her palm. “Of course I understand. I’ll wait for you. However long it takes. Just promise me that if you need anything, anything, you’ll call me.”

She leaned in, her lips barely touching mine. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

I stood by the front door, watching as she walked down my path.

All I could do now was wait and pray she hadn’t walked out of my life forever.

EVERLY

“More, Daddy. More.”

Rhett’s delighted giggles bled through from the living room to the kitchen, where I was pounding dough, anything to take my mind off the terrible turn my life had taken.

I missed Nico, ached for him. For his quiet pensiveness and innate strength. His English wit that brought out his dimple, the one I adored. The feel of his lips on mine. How he smelled—of sandalwood and lime. The way he’d squeeze his eyes closed and let out a soft moan right before he came.

I missed it all.

But until I sorted out the mess Paul’s untimely return had caused, I couldn’t commit to Nico, and it wasn’t fair to confuse Rhett by shuffling him back and forth between two competing male figures. In the last few days since Paul had come back, Rhett had barely stopped smiling, only growing sullen when Paul returned to his motel room at the end of the night. Even when I’d told him we weren’t going to stay with Nico, he hadn’t seemed that upset, far too enamored with his father’s miraculous return.

Despite what I’d said to Nico about needing time and space, I wasn’t sure I had it within me to do this without him. He’d shown me another way to live that had nothing to do with money and everything to do with my heart.

Whatever happened between us in the future, I prayed he stayed true to his offer to sponsor Rhett. I truly believed he would. Nico Palmer had more honor in his little finger than Paul had in his entire body. He still refused to give me a good reason why he’d disappeared for over two years and what had brought him back now. After asking him the question several times and not receiving a satisfactory answer—or any answer, in fact—I’d given up. It had gotten to the point where I didn’t care why he’d returned. I just wished he hadn’t, even if that meant there’d always be a small part of Rhett that thought it was his fault his father abandoned him so easily.

“Dinner almost ready?”

My head came up to find Paul lounging in the doorway, one shoulder propped against the jamb, his arms folded. I searched his face, trying to recall what I’d ever found attractive about him.

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