Page 53 of Drive To Survive

His hands curved around my face. “God, I’ve missed you, Ev. You and Rhett. I didn’t want to leave. Honest to God. I never stopped thinking about you the entire time I’ve been away.”

To my horror, he lowered his head and went to kiss me. At the last moment, I wrenched away. “What the hell are you doing?” I cried, shoving him backward.

His jaw flexed, and a pulse thrummed in his cheek. “Kissing my girl.”

“Jesus, Paul, are you insane? You left. You made a choice, and that choice didn’t involve me or Rhett.”

“You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” he bit out, jabbing a finger in my direction. “Don’t tell me what I feel, Everly, not for you and certainly not for my son.”

“Then tell me. Tell me what’s kept you away for two years.”

His eyes cut to the side, and he grazed his teeth over his bottom lip. When we’d first gotten together, I’d found that habit attractive. Now, I felt nothing. Nothing other than emptiness and a sense of disappointment that I’d given so many years to this man. The next time Nico asked me about my feelings for Paul, I had an answer for him.

“It’s complicated.”

I laughed, the sound bitter. “That’s what people say when they don’t want to tell the truth.” I reached down and picked up the suitcase I’d packed for me and Rhett. “You know what, Paul? Keep your secrets. I don’t care where you’ve been. I’m going away for a few days. You’re welcome to stay the night, but don’t be here when I get back.”

I’d only half turned away when he hauled me back to face him. “You’re going nowhere.”

“You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do,” I scoffed, sneering at him despite my racing heartbeat and the chill in my veins.

“You’re my woman,” he said. “I didn’t want to leave. I never wanted this for you or for Rhett. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”

“It’s too late,” I blurted. “I’ve met someone else.”

Paul went very still, tension radiating through his neck, his back, his arms. “What did you say?” he asked, his voice menacingly quiet.

“It’s been two years, Paul. I’ve moved on. We can talk about visitation rights to see Rhett, but as for you and me, it’s over.”

His hand snapped out and locked around my bicep, squeezing until I winced. “It’s over when I say it’s over.”

“Paul, stop. You’re hurting me.”

He let me go as fast as he’d grabbed me, raking a hand through his hair. “God, baby, I’m sorry.” His jaw tightened. “I’ll win you back. Please, give me a chance to win you back, for Rhett’s sake. We’ll take it slow, but don’t give up on me yet.”

“You haven’t even told me where you’ve been, why you left, or how it was that you never even got a message to me. And you talk about wanting me back. It’s too late, Paul. Way too late.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, chin tucked into his chest. “I want to tell you, Ev, so badly. But I can’t. Please, you’re going to have to trust me. It’s better for both of us this way.”

A question sprang to mind, one I couldn’t allow to remain silent. “Are you a drug dealer?”

He barked out a laugh. “No, babe. I’m not a drug dealer. That’s not it at all.”

“Then what is it?” I cried. “For God’s sake, Paul, just tell me.”

His hands came around my face once more, a beseeching look in his eyes. “Don’t throw away all those years, Ev,” he said, ignoring my question. “You have to know that I was in agony every day we spent apart. I ached for you, for Rhett. I’ve been to hell and back. Don’t push me away without giving me a chance to fix us. Rhett deserves to have both his parents.”

I stepped back, and Paul’s hands dropped to his sides. “This is all too much, Paul.” I pressed my fingertips into my temple. “You can’t just disappear for more than two years, then turn up here as if nothing has happened and expect everything to be the same. It isn’t.”

He lowered his chin and nodded. “At least give me a chance to make it up to you. I promise, I’ll never leave either of you again.”

I wished he were lying. I wished he’d never come back. I wished I’d stayed with Nico and never returned to this house. Paul and I were over, but I had to give him a chance to make things up to Rhett.

“If you hurt Rhett,” I said through gritted teeth, “I’ll kill you.”

NICO

I checked my watch, frowning at the time. Everly and Rhett should have been here by now. The traffic was worse than normal today, but even if there had been a hold up on the freeway, they wouldn’t be this late. There hadn’t been any wrecks, according to the local news—thank Christ.

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