Page 14 of Drive To Survive

“Maybe another time.” I cut my gaze to Everly and tersely nodded.

“What’s wrong with your leg?” Rhett asked as I made my way to the front door. “You walk kinda funny.”

“Rhett!” Everly exclaimed, heat blooming in her cheeks. “That’s very rude. God, I’m so sorry, Mr. Palmer.”

I shook my head and held up my hand. “It’s fine. See you soon, Mrs. Lawson.”

I left as fast as my busted-up ankles allowed, dove into my car, and drove away.

EVERLY

“Is it time to go yet?”

Rhett bounced up and down on the balls of his feet, badgering me by asking the same question he’d asked approximately every three minutes in the last hour. I’d deliberately waited until this morning to tell him about the racing school. His need for instant gratification and my failure to meet it might have given rise to a tantrum, and as I’d struggled to get a wink of sleep last night, and my energy levels were running on empty, I wanted to avoid any kind of outburst.

My thoughts shifted to Nico, and remorse and embarrassment sent a rush of blood to my face. What had come over me the other day? I’d behaved like a raving lunatic, rambling on about cheap TVs and hand-me-down laptops, and something about secure backyards. But when he’d insinuated, albeit unintentionally, that I’d been less than truthful on my application, a powerful red mist had engulfed me, and he’d caught the brunt of my rage. It hadn’t even been about him. Not really. I was just tired and overwrought and worried about my son. I rarely lost my temper, and given the amount of guilt that settled like a boulder in my abdomen, I wish I’d bitten my tongue on this occasion, too.

How would I even face Nico today and somehow emerge with my pride intact?

Good luck with that, Everly.

He hadn’t been far from my mind these last few days. I still cringed every time I recalled the flash of pain on his face at Rhett’s innocent, yet direct, question about his legs, followed by his hasty and humiliated retreat. Rhett hadn’t meant to cause Nico any embarrassment. He wasn’t old enough yet to understand the importance of tact when faced with someone managing a disability, but that hadn’t stopped remorse from eating away at my insides.

I’d read a couple of interviews from when Nico still raced, and watched one or two videos on YouTube from a few years back. The way he’d spoken, with such enthusiasm and energy, and love for the sport, had caused a bunch of butterflies to swarm in my stomach. Back then his jade-green eyes had shone, and he’d laughed a lot while talking to the journalist, showing off a dimple in his left cheek that had been altogether absent during both our encounters.

Losing something—or someone—you love had a hell of an impact on a person. I should know. Paul’s disappearance had done a number on both me and Rhett.

“Mommy!”

I blinked. “Sorry, honey, what did you say?”

He folded his arms and huffed, and my heart expanded with love for my little man, his expression both incensed and perturbed at my lack of attention.

“I said, ‘Is it time to go yet?’”

I checked my watch. “Not quite. Another thirty minutes.”

“Oh.” He flopped onto the couch, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout. “Why is it taking so long?”

I chuckled under my breath and sat beside him to give him a cuddle. His bubbling enthusiasm for the upcoming trip to the track reminded me of the little boy he’d once been, and not for the first time since they accepted him into the program, a sliver of hope filled my chest. I’d put all my eggs in the PFK Racing basket, and I prayed their program would return my happy-go-lucky little soldier to me.

Providing I hadn’t messed it all up with my vitriolic—and hugely out of character—outburst at one of the owners.

“Because you’re excited. Time always seems to go slower when we can’t wait for something.”

He gazed up at me, his blue eyes replicas of my own, although his nose was all Paul: well set and almost straight with a slight upturn at the end.

“I’m a little bit scared, too, Mommy.”

My heart clenched tight, and I squeezed him harder. “Well, of course you are,” I said, forcing as much reassurance into my tone as I could muster, even as I struggled to manage my own unease at bumping into Nico again. “It’s somewhere new, and you’ve never been before, but once we get there and you meet everyone, all the fluttering in your tummy will disappear.”

“Promise?”

I kissed the top of his head. “I promise.”

The drive out to the track took us forty minutes due to a wreck on the highway, but I’d left plenty of time for such eventualities. Getting around Los Angeles was a struggle at the best of times, let alone when an accident added further delays. As I pulled into the parking lot, I glanced into the rearview mirror to check out Rhett’s reaction.

His eyes were wide in wonderment as his gaze fell on the racetrack just beyond the wire fencing. A few cars were already out on the track, and as I stepped down from my truck, the noise of the engines reached me. Suppressing a shard of worry that climbed into my throat, I opened the back door to unclasp Rhett’s child restraint.

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