Page 24 of Princess Avenged

Chapter

Eleven

Crusher

Every last ounce of power vacates my muscles, and my body crumples like I’ve been buried under a mountain of rocks.

Ana hates me. Ana hates me, and I deserve it. I failed her. I failed Phil. I failed us all.

“C’mon, Crusher.” Flame’s boot nudges my shoulder. “Get the fuck up.”

I look up from the lush, hand-knotted Persian rug, on the floor of Ana’s bedroom in the vampiric palace.

Blade crouches down, setting his hand on my shoulder. “Phil’s death isn’t your fault. Ana will see that. Some day.” His voice doesn’t sound as certain as his words.

Ana will never see me again, and our brotherhood is over.

Phil is gone.

Ana will forgive Blade, and maybe Flame too. Assuming she lets them back into her life, they can’t be with her and run missions with me. So, I’ll rarely see them. I’m on my own.

For eternity.

I will never meet another woman, or other men who will mean so much to me.

“Hey.” Flame kicks my shoulder again, this time hard enough that I fall on my ass. “Snap out of it.”

Every part of me wants to curl into a ball, to close my eyes and disappear, but that wouldn’t make this better.

Pulling strength from unknown stores, I rise, spreading my legs as if hoping a strong stance will generate actual strength inside me.

“I know this sucks,” Flame shakes his head. “But don’t forget who you are, man.”

I growl, low in my chest. “I know who the fuck I am.”

“Do you?” Flame crosses his arms over his chest. “Because I don’t think you do. Let me remind you. You’re Crusher. You fucking smash things. You’re strong, decisive. And you’re our leader. Our rock.”

“Not anymore.” I turn away. I appreciate what Flame’s trying to do, but he’s wrong. I am not now and have never been our leader. And even if these two can forgive what I’ve done, it’s not enough. Not long ago, my brothers’ love and respect were the only things I cared about on this earth, but even they can’t make up for the devastating loss that’s drilled a massive hole in my heart.

I lost Ana’s respect and trust, and can’t conceive how I’ll function without her. I’d barely considered how our future might look, but now that I’ve lost her, now that any future with her is gone, I can’t envision my life going forward.

“Shit,” Blade says softly, and I turn toward him. “I hate to bring this up right now, but I’ve got to get back to the archives.” He looks at me with so much pity in his eyes I almost want to punch him to prove that he’s wrong to give a shit about me.

I need to figure out what to do. I should turn myself in for killing Timur.

That would land me in prison for the rest of my miserable life. At least prison would be something to do.

Chapter

Twelve

Ana

“Oh, that feels so gooood.” Selina groans as Beatrix, her spa therapist, massages her back. We’re lying on tables close to each other in my favorite spa in the palace.

“Relax, Your Highness,” my therapist whispers near my ear. “It’s like your muscles are fighting me.”

“Sorry, Hilda.” I shake my head in the cradle at the end of the table.

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