Page 91 of Princess Broken

His eyes are so full of concern and compassion that I nearly melt into the chair. Crusher’s eyes are the color of gold under direct sunlight, but with thin rings of milk chocolate around their perimeter, and as we look into each other’s eyes, his pupils dilate, deepening their shade.

“When those men burst in to the room with old-fashioned machine guns.” I look down as the memories flood back, both of the ambush at Mariano’s and of that day a hundred years past.

“When they started to shoot, the sounds, the smells, the gun smoke… It reminded me of another day, something horrible from my past.” I glance back at him, and he nods, so much empathy wafting from his expression that I can feel it deep in my heart. It seems he doesn’t know my human history either.

My body is shaking, but I fight to control it. “When I was human, my family were executed, assassinated in a massacre a lot like that one at the Marianos. So much like it that the similarities had to be purposeful.”

“I’m so sorry, Ana.” Crusher uses my given name for the first time, and his hand slides on to my back, warm and strong.

“What happened at Mariano’s,” I continue, “how it happened, brought childhood memories crashing back. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. That’s why I was so overwrought. I’ve survived other attempts on my life since, especially when I was first in line to the vampiric throne.”

I handled those attempts on my life bravely, calmly. I’m still embarrassed and shocked at how I regressed to childhood during the Mariano attack.

Unable to bear the intensity of Crusher’s gaze, or how much his comfort means to me, I close my eyes. But my mind replays the melee at the end of the meeting.

Panicked, I crouched and closed my eyes. I heard Timur shout my name. And when I opened them, all I saw was the crossbow in his hand, pointing toward me. I froze again, closing my eyes, and when I opened them, Timur was next to me, a stake in his heart, the brothers towering above us.

“Again, I am so sorry,” Crusher says softly. “Not only did the attack bring back childhood memories, you lost your mate, the vampire that you loved.”

“No. No, I didn’t. I—”

“Ho-ney, we’re ho-ome,” Flame calls out.

Crusher shoots up to stand, taking his arm off me and moving a few feet away from my chair.

And for the moment, I’m saved from confessing the truth.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Crusher

As my brothers return from the Rec Center, my heart is pounding out of my chest.

I just came close, way too close, to doing something stupid. Something very, very stupid. Something inexcusable.

It was bad enough that I comforted the princess, but while I can justify offering comfort to anyone in distress, that’s not the whole truth. If I’d allowed myself to touch her again, it would have gone further. A lot further if she’d welcomed it. I can’t deny my true motivation for putting my arm around her.

I wanted to touch her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted—I still want—

Gods be damned, I care about Ana. And that’s got to stop. I’ve never let myself experience fondness for anyone beyond my brothers. And there is nothing brotherly about how I feel toward Ana.

How can I expect them to follow the code if I can’t?

“Did we interrupt something?” Blade strides toward us.

“Of course not.” I cross my arms over my chest, then uncross them. “What would you be interrupting?”

“You were questioning Ana about Mariano?” Blade looks at me like I’m crazy and I realize I may have read more into his question than he meant. I’m acting guilty. Even if I’m only guilty of thoughts not actions.

Ana rises from her chair. “You three are back quickly.” Her cheeks are flushed as she looks between Flame and Blade, seeming to avoid Phil who comes to stand beside me.

“Did she give up any useful intel?” Phil claps me on the back.

“Did you three take care of your tension?” I ask.

“We sure fucking did.” Phil laughs.

Ana seems to curl into herself, and all the color drains from her face, almost like she’s a nauseated human.

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