Page 88 of Princess Broken

As Phil, Blade and Flame leave the room, my heart thumps out of my chest. I’m alone with Crusher. None of the other three as much as turn back to look at me as they leave. Not even Blade who just came so close to kissing me. Or Flame who, over the past few days, has made my body feel things I’ve never imagined, and shown so much vulnerability, telling me about his past.

My belly twists, knowing why they’re going to the Rec Center. They’re going there to have sex.

When Flame and I walked into that room, the women’s reactions were clear. Every female in there was eager to be his partner, basically lining up for a go, even though I was at his side. And this time the men don’t have a woman with them.

My stomach turns in on itself as the twisting intensifies. I close my eyes. Why should I care who they take as sexual partners? And yet, I do.

“We need to talk,” Crusher says, gesturing toward two club-style chairs in one corner of the room.

I feel like a child about to be scolded. Taking a seat on a club chair, covered in deep brown leather, I sink into its cushions.

“Before you start.” I clear my throat. “I want you to know. What happened wasn’t Flame’s fault.”

Crusher grunts as he sits in a chair angled next to mine. “I sincerely apologize for my brother’s inappropriate behavior.”

I shift, tucking up one leg and leaning onto the arm of the chair so I can better face the large, handsome vampire who first carried me away from the massacre. Some men are tall dark and handsome. And if you add massive and intimidating to that list, it would perfectly describe Crusher. His olive skin radiates health and his jaw is firm and square, his amber eyes flashing like molten gold.

But I won’t let myself get mesmerized by his masculine beauty.

“There’s no need for Flame to apologize,” I say calmly, “and certainly no reason that you should do so on his behalf.”

His lips twitch, as if he’s trying to keep from saying something.

“I asked Flame to provide his blood for me,” I tell Crusher. “I couldn’t face feeding in the company of other vampires, not to mention…” I can’t say the rest. “Flame recognized my discomfort. He gallantly offered his vein to me, very generously, and then…”

My cheeks flush and my entire body flutters inside as I think about everything that came after. The many things Flame and I have done over the past few days. The things that we’ve shared. I had no idea that sex could be like that. And I finally understand why the act holds such importance for many.

I clear my throat. “I went many years without requiring sex after feedings. I fully expected I would not need it after feeding from Flame.”

Looking at me in disbelief, Crusher shakes his head. “None of this should have happened. Not the feeding. Not the sex. Not with Flame.”

I lean onto the arm of my chair. “Why not? I mean, I don’t pretend to understand all the facets of your code, or the reasons behind it, but this part… I have to ask. Why?”

Crusher places both hands on his chair’s arms, like it’s a throne. “Sex with clients, with anyone we know, risks personal relationships. And we do not do personal relationships. Not ever.”

“Why? I mean, that must be very lonely.”

“Not at all.” His body shifts back slightly, like he’s shocked to be questioned. “Why would we be lonely. We are four.”

“Yes. And it’s clear the bond between you and your brothers is strong. Understandable since you’ve known each other from childhood.”

His eyes open wider, and he shakes his head slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

Did I just land Flame in even more trouble? I reach toward Crusher. “If Flame shared some information about his childhood, that’s my fault too. I asked about his scars, and he told me a bit of his past. It was a natural conversation.” I make light of what felt like a very deep connection between Flame and me. And I wonder whether I know details about Flame’s childhood that he hasn’t even shared with Crusher.

The big vampire shakes his head. “How the four of us grew up is no secret, but sharing details from our pasts…” his voice trails off.

“Sharing might encourage interpersonal relationships?” I smile softly, and Crusher nods.

“I don’t understand why you don’t allow yourself, or the others, to have relationships, even friendships?” And I hope to convince Crusher to abolish this silly rule. My conversations with Flame gave me insight into Crusher too, how he acted like a big brother, taking care of Flame and Blade when they were little.

“Let’s get one thing clear.” Crossing up one leg, Crusher leans his elbow onto the chair’s arm. “I didn’t make these rules. Nor do I alone enforce them.”

I tip my head to the side. Crusher may not have made the rules, but he’s their main enforcer. “You don’t enforce the code?”

“No. I’m not in charge. None of us is in command. We are a team of equals.”

“Okay.” I smile. The other three men, especially Flame and Blade, clearly look to Crusher for direction and approval. Does he truly not notice?