Page 29 of Ruined

"I prefer black seats," I said. "And something less obvious than a Maserati. Something more inconspicuous, like a small hatchback."

"Does anyone drive small hatchbacks anymore?" He frowned. "You'll be noticed less if you drive an SUV. Everyone seems to have those these days. Preferably bullet-proof and crash proof. And electric. Can you drive?"

"Electric?" I frowned.

That was one of the many changes I was still trying to come to terms with. That and people delivering food on the back of a bike. Personally, I thought that was a perfect front for an assassin. I made a mental note to get a bike and a uniform. It might come in useful.

"I'm a bit rusty, but how hard could it be to pick it back up again?" I shrugged. "I got my license before…”

I didn't need to finish that sentence. We both knew what I was referring to. I didn't want to sugarcoat it, but I didn't want to keep saying Kurt's name either. There really were no good ways to say ‘chained and stuck in a cage in a basement.’

“My sister Rose taught me to drive." Asher was too young, Dane was too impatient, my parents too busy or disinterested. Rose took it upon herself to make sure I knew how.

"You two were close," Gianni said. He pulled my feet onto his lap and started to massage one of them.

I fought the instinct to pull them back away from him, and let him touch me.

If a day was coming when I wouldn't automatically flinch, I wished it would come sooner. Now they knew who I was, I felt compelled to live up to my badass persona.

Assassins weren't supposed to be human. We were supposed to be something else, something more. The monsters under the bed our parents warn us about.

Sitting in a library, surrounded by books, while one of my boyfriends gave me a foot rub was definitely outside that stereotype. Maybe I should give myself a break and remind myself I was a person first, and my job second.

"We are as close as we could be with so many years between us," I said. "She was just as likely to tell me to get lost as she was to do things with me. Asher and I were closer. We were always spying on the other two, and doing things like waiting behind a tree to throw a water balloon at them.”

We'd hurl them, wait for them to connect, then run away laughing. Asher would always make sure I was out of reach of either of our older siblings, even if he had his ass kicked once in a while.

“Dane used to get so angry. He was the one who'd run off and tell our parents what we did.” I rolled my eyes. "I think he liked it when we got in trouble, but it was more than that. He wanted us to look bad and for him to look good, like the dutiful son. The one who kept us in line, as if he could actually do that.”

Asher and I were more inclined to laugh at him, flip him off, then plan another prank. Not where our father could see.

“Dane wanted to be the golden child. The head of the family. He wanted to be like Reuben."

I doubted Reuben was a snitch the way Dane used to be. He would have given his siblings a glare before slipping off to be by himself and read.

"Who doesn't?" Gianni massaged my toes, one by one. His hands were warm and firm, but gentle at the same time. "Reuben is a powerful man. If I was going to aspire to be anyone else, it would be him. But I don't, because I like being me. So you'd say Dane was the most ambitious one out of you all?"

"Not necessarily," I said thoughtfully. "The rest of us were ambitious in different ways. Rose wanted to be the best at what she does, and so did I. Asher wanted to take over the world with his music. Dane was the one who craved power. When he was at school, he always sought out the popular kids. If he couldn't be the leader, he wanted to be as close to them as he could."

He snitched on the other kids the way he did with us, but only if that was in line with his friends. He wanted to ruffle only the right feathers.

"Why do you think he went into teaching?" Gianni asked. He didn't seem as though he was judging Dane, he was just curious about him. Dane was a part of the childhood that helped to shape me. Another piece of my complicated puzzle.

"That's a good question," I said. I wondered that myself. If you'd asked me which of my siblings would be interested in teaching anything to anyone else, he probably would have been at the bottom of the list.

"I'm not sure I know the answer. Maybe he was hoping Brutham Academy would give him contacts, the same way so many men want to join the Brotherhood. Maybe it's something for him to do while he waits for his opportunity. Maybe he just likes teaching."

I laughed slightly. My oldest brother liked ambition more than he liked people. Unless there was something in it for him.

"Everyone has an angle," Gianni said. "I'm surprised he hasn't come knocking on Reuben's door, asking for a job. Unless he has and I don't know about it."

His expression suggested that was unlikely. He had a way of knowing about almost everything that went on around here. He watched, he listened and he learned. He observed and absorbed everything. Like I did. Missing even a small detail could get me killed. Or get someone else killed.

I glanced in the direction of the door, as though he might suddenly turn up outside. When no one knocked, I turned back to Gianni.

"That's what he'd do if he knew I was here," I said. "If he thought I had any influence with Reuben, he'd be right here, looking for scraps."

"Is that why you don't want him to know about you?" Gianni asked. "You don't want him putting you in that position?" He rubbed the ball of my foot. "What about Asher? He's off living his life. I don't get the impression he'd need you to do anything for him."

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