Page 24 of Ruined

"I was on a job," I said slowly. "There was a kid. She shouldn't have been there. I saw her standing in the doorway and then, she was dying in my arms." I shook my head. "She had nothing to do with any of this. She was supposed to be with her mother, not her father. He was the one who was supposed to die that night."

"That explains why you looked so upset when you saw Frank's kid," Gianni said.

All I could say to that was, "Yeah"

"I don't understand," Damon said. "You said you saw her, and then she was dying. You killed her?"

I shook my head slowly. "I had to have. I don't remember doing it, but it was only me and her there. Kurt was in another room." I briefly explained his mission was to find information.

"Think back," Reuben said. "Is it possible he did it?"

I frowned. I'd thought about that night a million times. It lived in my nightmares. Her blood, my guilt, were the only things I was certain of.

"If he did, I should have been able to stop him," I said finally. "If I just gave him what he wanted, he wouldn't have forced my hand like that. She'd still be alive now."

"You'd voluntarily sleep with him in return for the life of a child?" Damon asked.

"I'd do anything to erase that night," I said quietly. "What happened to her was my fault. What Kurt did to me, I deserved every moment of it."

"Sweetheart." Gianni slid into the chair beside me. "You did not deserve any of that. The only one to blame for this was Kurt. He's a fucked up monster who used a kid to get to you." He carefully slipped his arm around my shoulders. "Her blood is on his hands."

I shook my head. "I should have seen the extent he'd go to. I should have insisted I do my job alone. He could have come in afterward. He shouldn't have been anywhere near there. I misjudged him and she paid the price."

"The only one responsible for his actions is him," Reuben said darkly. "He let his obsession take hold of him and he did something unspeakable."

Damon cleared his throat.

Reuben's gaze slid to him. "There's a difference between distraction, and obsession to the point of imprisoning a woman to keep her." He returned his gaze to me. "Who was this girl?"

"I don't really know. The daughter of my target. He was some kind of politician. He upset someone and they decided to take him out."

My guess was one of his ex-wives, possibly all three of them, if they could afford me. He had a reputation as a massive asshole. Not to mention a serial cheat.

"Kurt was supposed to find information on his whereabouts on a few nights in question. And details about bribes from some construction company."

I guessed his ex-wives wanted to pin his death on them. That was their business. I was just there to carry out the job I was paid to do. There was no benefit in getting too nosy. It wasn't as though I needed the money I get from bribing them. Killing people for money was lucrative enough.

"Did he end up dead?" Gianni asked. "Sounds like he deserved it."

"According to Kurt, someone finished the job a year later," I said. "Unless that car crash was really an accident." Stranger things had happened.

"That seems unlikely to me," Reuben said. "Once someone takes out a hit?—"

"It's seen through until the end," I finished for him. "Unless the client withdraws the job. But that's a rare occurrence. Once people are committed to having someone killed, they tend to follow through."

"Have I mentioned recently that you're hot?" Gianni squeezed my shoulders. "An actual fucking assassin. I knew you were a badass. I just fucking knew it. You're the baddest of the badasses."

I managed a faint smile. "Yeah, but what happens now?" I looked back to Reuben. "Now you know what I am, and what I did."

"It changes nothing," Reuben said. "You expected us to turn on you?"

"A child died because of me," I insisted. "I expected you to agree that I deserved what Kurt did."

Deafening silence followed my words. Heavier than a thundercloud ready to break apart and release a flood, accompanied by thunder louder than a Wolf Venom concert.

I'd spent too many years convincing myself I was a terrible person. It was so ingrained by now, I didn't expect any other response. I'd readied myself to defend against them. I'd die or kill them all before I let that happen. The idea of being locked away again was my own personal hell. Whatever I had to do, I wouldn't allow that. Even if I stabbed a knife into my own heart.

I hadn't pictured understanding. Words or looks of concern. Of love.

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