"He said he had a thing for me. I told him I wasn't interested. He decided he didn't want to take no for an answer. I don't know what happened between him and Dad." I shook my head. "But somehow Kurt forced his hand so he'd give me to him."
"That's fucked up," Gianni said softly. "It sounds like he was obsessed. I'm obsessed with you, but my obsession is much healthier than that."
I looked back up at him and managed a small smile. "I never said Kurt wasn't unhinged as fuck. Normal people don't lock people down in basements. They don't starve them until they're too weak to stand. They don't…" I didn't need to elaborate. Gianni knew what happened to me.
"By the time we're done with him, the biggest part of him anyone will be able to find will be his little toe," Gianni growled. "I plan to keep him alive until that point. I don't know how, but I will."
"I believe you," I told him. I wished I could tell him everything else. I hated lying to him. Was I as bad as Kurt for doing it? The line was too fine, too blurred, even though I reminded myself I wasn't doing it to be cruel.
"How old were you when you met him?" Gianni asked.
I swallowed to keep the contents of my stomach from coming back up. "I was fourteen. He was about eighteen. Full of anger and arrogance."
I remembered the way he used to throw me, then pin me to the mat and look down at me, like he wanted to devour me. I quickly learned how to throw him off me.
Down in the basement, he'd looked at me the same way, so many times. Usually right before he forced himself on me. Did he ever see me as a person? I doubted it. He thought of me as his possession. A toy he could do whatever he wanted to. As if I had no thoughts or feelings of my own.
"I'm so sorry." Gianni cupped my cheek lightly with his hand. "I wish I could take all the hurt away." He leaned in to brush his lips over mine.
I hesitated for a moment. Pushed my dark thoughts aside to kiss him back. I wanted to think about anything else right now but Kurt. No, I didn't even want to think. I just wanted to feel. I needed a connection to another person that didn't involve fear and violence. I wanted that connection with Gianni.
I wanted more. My body and soul both ached for it.
I took his hand and guided it down between my legs. "Can you…touch me here?" I whispered. "I want to know how it feels to be touched gently."
"Of course I can, sweetheart," he said. He rubbed his knuckles over the front of my jeans, light and tender. My clit throbbed, yearning for more.
I sucked in a breath. Could I do this? I'd be exposing myself literally and emotionally.
It was the latter that had me terrified. With some effort, I forced myself not to switch off and retreat into the back of my mind. Doing that would be an injustice to us both.
I managed to work the button loose on my jeans and draw down the zipper.
After another breath, this one more shallow, I lifted my hips to push my jeans down to my thighs. A thin layer of pale pink lace was the only thing between his hand and my pussy.
His eyes were huge, but reverent, very much aware of what I was asking of him. Very much determined to give me exactly that, what and how I needed it.
He rubbed the tips of his fingers across the gusset, with increasing firmness, until I was rolling my hips, increasing the friction.
"Sweetheart—" he whispered.
"Don't stop," I whispered back. "I want more."
He pulled the gusset aside and slid his fingers against my bare pussy.
I shivered at his touch, but this was nothing like… I didn't want to think his name right now. I'd never been touched like this before. This was gentle and sweet. At the same time, hot as hell.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"More than okay," I said. "Please?—"
"Can I taste you?" he sounded tentative, like he wasn't sure if he was overstepping boundaries. Worried he'd scare me away.
My tongue swiped over my lips. "I— Yes."
He dropped from the footstool, down to his knees in front of me. With gentle fingers, he gripped my thighs, opening me out to him. His eyes on mine, he lowered his mouth to my pussy. Letting my reactions guide him, he started to lightly tease me with the tip of his tongue.
When I didn't freak out, he carefully pressed a finger inside me, then another.