Page 11 of Holding Grace

“I’m sorry for what I did, for the way I left. You and Jamey were great to me, and you didn’t deserve to have me disappear like that. I’m sorry for the mess I left.”

I knew she was thinking of the words I’d flung at her at the diner earlier. Little did she know that the “mess” I’d referred to had nothing to do with the pub and everything to do with me, but we’d get to that in time. Right now, I still needed to know exactly what had made her take off.

“Apology accepted. Did Ellis or Seth show up at the pub? Is that why you left?”

Grace blinked like she’d expected the conversation to be over once she’d apologized, but she answered my question.

“No, I got a voicemail from Ellis. He said they knew where I was, and if I knew what was good for me, I’d come home. He reminded me that he knows people and said it would be a shame if he had to get someone to bring me home.”

Grace looked down at her hands as she twisted her fingers in her lap.

“It wasn’t until the next morning when I was hours away from Lark that I realized he’d fooled me.” She looked up at me again. “If Ellis had really known where I was, he would have said it. He’d have wanted me to know that he knew, to brag about it. Either that, or he or Seth, or both, would have shown up. He was bluffing to see if he could scare me enough to make me go home. I still don’t know how he got my phone number because I get a new phone and number every time I move but regardless, I realized that having my number didn’t mean he knew where I was.”

I gave her credit for realizing that as quickly as she had. In her place, scared and on the run, I’m not sure it would have occurred to me until much later, if at all.

“Have they ever tracked you down and shown up in any of the places you’ve stayed?”

Grace hesitated before she answered. “I’m not really sure. A couple times I moved on because the job ended for whatever reason. But in one place, a man was asking about me at work on one of my off days, so that made me nervous. It was more of a bar, though, and I was server, so it could have just been some guy who’d seen me there one night and wanted to hit on me. From the description, the guy could have been Ellis, or could have been a thousand other men. Ellis is pretty average looking.” Grace shrugged and went on. “I didn’t wait to find out for sure; I just packed up and left town.”

“In another place, I was at a little grocery store near my apartment building, and I saw a man who looked so much like Seth that I left my basket in the middle of the aisle and ran out. I only saw him from the side so I’m still not 100% sure, but...” Grace looked up at me, traces of remembered fear in her eyes... “It was like with you today. I only saw you from the back at first, but I was pretty sure it was you. It might not have been Seth, but I wasn’t taking any chances. As soon as I could get my things together, I took off.”

Did she realize what she’d just told me?

She’d thought she’d seen Seth and had run.

She’d thought, then known, she’d seen me, and hadn’t.

She hadn’t run, she’d still been there when I’d gone back to the diner for her later, she’d let me see where she lived, and she was sitting here with me now.

Did she understand how much trust she’d placed in me?

Granted, I’d never threatened to kill her, and she knew I hadn’t tracked her down intentionally, but still...

A dangerous hope stirred to life inside me, dangerous because it got me thinking.

If she trusted me, could I convince her to come back to Lark with me?

Grace rubbed her hands over her face, then stood and started pacing, crossing the small space, then turning back to retrace her steps.

“You probably think I’m crazy. It sounds crazy. Running like a scared little rabbit here and there, jumping at shadows, not even knowing what’s real and what’s in my head.”

She stopped in the middle of the floor and pushed her hands up into her hair, dislodging whatever magic she’d used to put it up, making it tumble down around her shoulders.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think I’m crazy.”

Grace’s shoulders slumped. She looked so dejected and tired that I couldn’t take it.

I stood and crossed to her, stopping a few steps away so she didn’t have to crane her neck to look up at me. Grace was a little taller than average for a woman, but at 6’4” I still towered over her.

“Do you want to know what I think, what I see when I look at you and hear everything you’ve been through?”

Grace watched me wordlessly, so I took her silence as an okay to keep talking.

“I see a smart, brave woman who’s done the best she can – and pretty damn well, at that – in a situation that would have paralyzed most people. You stayed calm, you made a plan, and you’ve kept yourself safe all on your own for what has to feel like a lifetime. It’s a crazy situation, yes, but I don’t think you’re crazy. I only knew you for a few months” – plenty long enough that she’d lived rent-free in my brain ever since – “but I know that. You’re one of the most level-headed people I know. I can only hope that if I were ever in a similar situation, I’d do even half as well as you have.”

Grace ducked her head as I’d known she would, the same way she always did when someone gave her a compliment. If she gave me a chance, I’d get her so used to hearing how amazing she was that someday she’d be able to accept and believe it with a smile.

“Even if you weren’t sure those two times, it was smart to assume they’d found you and to move on. The phone call you got when you were in Lark tells you they’re still looking for you, or at least they want you to think so. Do you know where Ellis and Seth are now?”

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