Page 102 of Holding Grace

Grace’s only response was a silent shake of her head. The worry spun faster. This felt like more than just shock at Seth’s revelations.

“What’s wrong, Grace?” My voice sounded like I’d dragged it through gravel. “I want to help but I can’t if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Now Grace reacted.

She spun to face me, flinging her hands in the air. “What’s wrong? Everything!”

I reached for her, but she stepped back, sending a jolt of near panic through my chest. “Gracie...”

She whirled away and stalked into the living room, more agitated than I’d ever seen her.

“It’s too much. It’s just too much!”

Stay calm. She doesn’t need you freaking out.

“What’s too much, sweetheart?”

Grace shot me a look of disbelief. “This! All of this. Me and all my mess,” she went on, her voice raised as she flung her hands in the air again. “I hate what I’ve done to your life! I hate it!”

So much for staying calm.

“Are you serious?” I shot back. “I love what you’ve done to my life, for my life.”

“How can you say that? I’ve ruined everything!”

Where was this coming from? Just hours before, we’d seemed solid. Now I felt her slipping away – hell, pulling away. I took a step closer to her.

The tears in her eyes stopped me like a brick wall.

She was scared.

We both were.

We could strike out at each other, push each other away, curl into our own protective shells and let fear destroy what we had.

I refused to let that happen.

“Gracie...” I took a breath, trying to settle both myself and her. “You haven’t ruined anything.” I held up my hand, stopping her when she would have cut me off. “Just let me say this, okay?”

She wrapped her arms around herself, took a breath of her own, and nodded.

I let the words spill out.

“I love having you in my life. I love knowing when I come home, you’ll be here or if not, you’ll be here soon. I love sharing space with you, talking to you, seeing you. I love seeing your things next to mine – your shoes lined up with mine by the door, your book on the table next to the couch, your crazy collection of coffee creamers in the fridge next to my protein shakes and beer. I love you being here. In my apartment and, like I said, in my life. If you were gone...” dammit, don’t leave me Grace... “if you were gone, there would be an enormous hole no one else could ever fill.”

“If I were gone your life wouldn’t be in danger.”

She was calmer. We both were. We’d pulled back – even just a fraction – from the brink of disaster.

I shrugged at her statement. “Probably not, though some of the guests at the pub can get a little intense about their meals.”

She didn’t laugh, didn’t so much as crack the tiniest smile. Still, I took a chance and stepped closer.

“Fine. Fair enough, but the police are working on that. That will be over soon, and we’ll have the rest of our lives together if that’s the way you want it.”

“What do you want?”

I had to touch her. Needed with everything in me to be in physical contact with her as I answered her. I skimmed the backs of my fingers down her arm as I took the leap and went all in.

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