Page 89 of The Summer List

Somebody figures out how to get the music going again, and the whole party claps and stomps along as Brayden’s captors swing him back and forth over the edge of the water. I wince at the splash as they finally let go and dump him into the pool, right alongside my last hope for stopping this party in time.

I back away from the door, my mind scrambling to come up with some way to make it look like I’m not getting my father’s house destroyed. I still have no idea what I’m going to tell my mom today. I know whatever I say is not going to go well, but it’s going to go extra bad against the backdrop of the MTV Spring Break scene playing out in front of me.

I jog back to the entryway after I decide the only chance I have at improving the situation is meeting my mom out on the street before she can get to the house and see just how bad things are. I bend down to pull my sneakers on and then freeze at the sound of knuckles rapping against the front door.

I don’t even have to look up to know I’m too late.

She’s here.

Inch by inch, I lift my gaze from the floor to face my mother’s glare on the other side of the glass. She’s wearing black cigarette pants and a flowy white top, her dyed blonde hair pulled into the signature high ponytail she’s still known for from all her old Pilates DVDs. Her posture is as perfect as a prima ballerina’s, but her face looks like a volcano on the verge of eruption.

She knocks again, harder this time.

My knees shake as I get to my feet. I reach for the door handle, and she doesn’t even wait for me to pull it all the way open before she storms past me into the house.

“Andrea, what the hell is going on here?”

She doesn’t bother stopping or giving me a second look as she glides through the entryway and then turns the corner into the kitchen. I take a step forward, reaching a hand out like I can pull her back through sheer force of will alone, but my mumbled plea for her to wait goes unnoticed.

“What are all those cars—”

Her question gets cut off by a gasp so loud I almost expect to hear her drop unconscious on the kitchen floor.

I follow her into the kitchen, dragging my feet like I’m walking up to a firing squad, and find her standing facing the deck with her mouth hanging open and her face getting redder by the second. She turns at the sound of my footsteps. Her jaw opens and closes a few times but no sound comes out. Her eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her head.

The only other time I’ve seen her look even close to this mad was when I told her I was moving to Montreal whether she liked it or not.

Just like that day, the sight of her makes my hands tremble so hard I have to squeeze them into fists to keep the tremors from travelling all the way up my arms. My skin breaks out in a cold sweat, and the floor seems to tilt and sway under my feet.

She hurls one word at me.

“Why?”

I drop my gaze to the floor.

“It was a mistake. I didn’t mean to—”

She cuts me off with a scoff. “You didn’t mean to invite a bunch of drunk strangers over to destroy your father’s property the day before I’m supposed to take you back to Toronto? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Do you really expect me to buy that?”

My shoulders curl inwards, and my chin drops closer to my chest.

I thought I could talk to her. I wasn’t expecting a miracle, but I thought we could at least get somewhere, like I did with my dad.

Now I see that even without a giant party emphasizing just how disappointing I am with every thump of the bass, I wouldn’t have been able to stand up to her. When we’re face to face like this, I choke. I always choke on everything she wants me to be until I’m too suffocated to be who I am.

“I just don’t get it,” she says. “When you started doing things like this in high school, I figured it was just a phase. I expected more from you, but still, I thought it would pass. When you decided to waste a whole year of your life partying in Montreal, I thought that would pass too. I made excuses for you. I told myself you just needed to get it out of your system, and then you’d be ready to become the person I know you can be, but this…”

My head is so heavy I can’t lift it even an inch, but I still see the whirl of movement as she sweeps her hand out towards the deck.

“I just don’t get it,” she continues. “Your whole life, you’ve been telling me how much the company means to you, how you can’t wait to get started there, and I’ve done everything I can to make sure you’re ready for that. I’ve always thought of it as our company, ever since you were a little girl and you told me that’s what you wanted. I’ve been building this for us, so we have something no one can ever take away. I wanted you to have something in your life you could always count on, but that means you need to step up and commit to it, and this…this is not commitment.”

I hear a loud splash outside, and she makes a disgusted sound as she watches whatever is happening in the pool.

“Can you at least tell me why?” she asks after a moment. “I’ve tried so hard to understand it, Andrea, and I just can’t imagine why you keep doing this. I’ve given you everything you need to succeed, and you keep throwing it all in my face.”

I’m still staring down at the floor. The lump in my throat is getting even bigger. Soon I won’t be able to breathe at all.

“Are you going to say something?”

---