Page 109 of The Devil Wears Tartan

I pull my phone out while Moira’s busy getting the studio door open and text my mom to make sure I’ll still have time to see her off tonight. She sends a thumbs-up emoji, and another choking wave of emotion hits.

I’ll need to say goodbye to my mom today too.

We step into the studio, the entryway dim in the fading light, and I busy myself with taking my shoes off. The Murray School feels familiar now—not in the same way the rooms and halls of RSA feel like home to me, but still, I have memories here now too.

I set my shoes down on a rack and lean against the front desk to watch Moira unlacing her flower-patterned Doc Martens as her hair falls into her face.

She places her shoes next to mine and holds out her hand. “Come on.”

Without saying anything else, we climb the stairs up to her favourite room.

It’s my favourite room in this place too. It might even be one of my favourite rooms in the whole city, and as we make our way down the hall towards its door, I remember what Margaret said when she showed up to take care of me at RSA.

If you ever need somewhere to dance, there’s plenty of room at the Murray School.

The ache in my chest starts building back up when I realize I do need somewhere to dance. My home is gone. I’ve gained so much today, but nothing can take the place of that loss.

Moira swings the studio’s door open and guides me inside, a gasp slipping out of her mouth when she gets a look at the room.

“I forgot you’d never seen the sun hit the stained glass before.” She blinks at me, a beam of rosy light from the windows painting half her face pink and settling into the strands of her hair. “What do you think?”

I let go of her hand to step to the centre of the room, spreading my arms as I turn in a few slow circles. The semi-circles of stained glass above the main windows are gleaming like massive rubies, and the whole room is streaked in shifting shades of red and pink that bounce between the mirrored walls. I feel like we’re inside the heart of some huge, glowing stone, insulated and protected, surrounded by a humming, gentle power.

“I think it’s magical,” I breathe.

Then I burst into tears.

“Kenzie!” Moira flies across the room to hold me, and I sag in her arms. “Hey. Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Catherine fired me,” I choke out, unable to hold it in for a second longer. “Or I quit. I don’t even know what happened. I wanted to talk to her, to figure things out, but...but she didn’t want that, and then we were both shouting, and it was awful, and we both said some pretty terrible things, and...and...”

I lose my breath, my words dissolving into gasps. Moira guides me down to sit on the floor. She pulls my head onto her shoulder and strokes my hair until I can speak again.

“It’s over,” I say, the words flat and final. “That whole part of my life, it’s...over. She’s going to make the announcement that I’m no longer teaching at the academy in a few days, and even if she did somehow take me back, I don’t know if I could do it. She...she’s not good for me, and it fucking hurts to know it because I know she’s hurting too, but she’s not ready to change, and I am.”

Moira slides her hand down to rub my back as I take a deep and shuddering breath. “That sounds so tough. I wish I could make it easier. I’m...I’m really proud of you, you know.”

I take another deep breath. I can smell a trace of flowery shampoo in her hair, and underneath it, there’s the sweet scent of her skin.

That’s familiar now too. She’s becoming so familiar.

She’s becoming something I can count on.

“Why?” I ask.

“Because you’re putting yourself first and being so strong and brave about it. I can tell how hard it is for you. I can tell how hard it is for you to even tell me any of this, and how hard it was for you to let me in like you did on the roof today. I see you, Kenzie, and it makes me so proud.”

I twist my head to press a kiss to her shoulder, just above the collar of her shirt. “I’m proud of you too, you know.”

She grips my waist and repeats my question. “Why?”

“Because I see how much you believe in yourself. I see you putting yourself first too. I see what a difference you make in the world, and I see you noticing that too. You made today happen. You brought all those people together, even if they were there for me. You’re a leader, and it’s wild to think you could have ever believed the life you lead is too small. You’re powerful, Moira, and you don’t need to change your goals or dreams for that to be true.”

She presses her lips to my temple and holds them there for a few seconds.

“I finally believe that,” she says against my skin, “and you helped me get there.”

I straighten up so I can look her in the eye. “I want to do this, you know. You and me.”

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