It’s kind of funny; I was bold enough to bet on her begging to kiss me, but now that I’ve literally had her face between my legs, I can’t even get a sentence out around her.
“We’re going skating,” Lydia blurts from behind me.
I cringe. If I could whack Lydia in the arm without Kenzie seeing, I totally would.
Kenzie glances between the two of us. “Uh, cool. I hope you have fun.”
I bob my head. “Thanks.”
Lydia is much less concerned with subtlety than I am; she gives me a thump on the back with her palm as she strides past the two of us while shooting me a loaded stare.
“I’ll be right back,” she announces.
She does not, in fact, leave. Instead, she stands in the gym’s doorway and does some sort of makeshift ‘ask her out’ sign language mixed with a few interpretive dance moves behind Kenzie’s back.
I look back at Kenzie in front of me and see concern written on her face. “Did I do something? Was she mad?”
“No, no, no,” I rush to answer. “She, uh—I mean we...I mean I was wondering if maybe you wanted to...come?”
A huff of shocked laughter slips past her lips before she raises an eyebrow. “You were wondering if I wanted to come?”
“Skating!” I nearly shout as my face gets even redder than I’m sure it already is. “Doyouwanttocomeskating?”
She squints. I make myself take a deep breath.
“Do you want to come skating?” I ask after I exhale, the question slightly more intelligible now.
“Oh.” Kenzie’s face shifts from confused to flustered. She presses her lips together and glances down at the floor before looking back up at me. “Really?”
I nod a few too many times. “Yeah. I mean, it’s just for fun. Although when is skating not just for fun? I guess if you’re an Olympic athlete, or an NHL player, or—”
I cut off my ridiculous tirade, and Kenzie grins.
“What I’m trying to say,” I restart after another deep breath, “is that it’s just casual and that it would be fun to have you there, if you want.”
She blinks a few times, and I can’t read her expression. “I...”
I watch her shift the garment bags around in her arms as I wait for some sign of an answer. “I know we just did a whole competition, so I’d get it if you said no.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to keep saying no, Moira. I promise I’m not avoiding you. It’s just...I’ve got a lot going on, and it’s hard to do anything last minute—not that it’s any easier to plan things weeks in advance.”
Her laugh is harsh and bordering on dark. The sound makes the back of my neck tingle, and not for the first time, I wonder if there’s more than just her job or school or even her mom going on in her life.
Whatever it is, it’s hurting her. I want to find the thing that made her laugh sound like that and make it stop. The thought slams into my chest with so much certainty it almost sends me staggering back a few steps.
“It’s fine. I get it,” I say, even though I don’t.
Even though she won’t let me.
“Thanks. I promise I’ll...I’ll be able to say yes...sometime.”
She winces like even she knows how unconvincing she sounds.
My stomach lurches, and I suddenly feel like an idiot for staring after her like a longing puppy all day. Just because that night in the studio scrambled all my priorities, doesn’t mean it did the same to her.
We get through a goodbye strained under the weight of everything left unspoken. I ignore whatever Lydia’s trying to signal to me and turn back to my stuff once Kenzie heads off with hers.
“Okay, hold up,” I hear Lydia say as she jogs up behind me. “What happened there?”