Page 63 of Endgame

Lila’s brain whirled as she tried to process how she felt. A minute ago, she’d felt like everything was finally falling into place, and now? Now, she wanted to know what the hell kind of a game he was playing with her.

She tried to arrange her words into a coherent sentence, but all she could do was extend a finger and touch the crown charm.

King stiffened under that touch, his chest starting to inflate and deflate quickly. “Lila, I can explain…”

His words snapped Lila out of her trance. “Explain why you lied about losing my necklace? Why you’ve hidden it from me all this time?”

She felt so foolish. She’d actually thought that King wanted to be with her, for real this time. But the presence of this old talisman brought up all of the feelings and insecurities she’d had when he’d told her he lost it. When he’d watched her crumble in front of him at the pain of losing something so precious. Which wasn’t even about the damn necklace. It was about him. Because though she’d given it to him with no intention of ever asking for it back, she’d also underestimated how much their “breakup” would decimate her. And how the thought of him having something she treasured when he’d discarded her so easily made her sick to her stomach.

“I’m sorry, La. I should have told you I still had it.” He gulped. “I should have just given it back when you asked for it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Lila had to know why. His honesty in this moment felt necessary, vital. Because if they didn’t have trust between the two of them, what the hell was the point?

His face was tormented as he scanned her face. “I… I don’t know,” he finally uttered in a pained, whispered tone.

“You don’t know?” Lila tried to keep the frustration out of her voice as she repeated his words. They stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at each other, and she willed him to answer. She needed him to answer.

When he didn’t? She swallowed a disappointed sob and maneuvered around him, crossing the threshold of their shared space and then entering her room. She clicked the deadbolt, locked her other door, and then slowly slid down the wall, crumpling into a ball on the floor.

Chapter 34

King hadn’t slept at all. He was still reeling from the whiplash of what had happened the night before. How, for those wonderfully brief moments he’d thought that he might actually have a shot at being with Lila for real. How much of a relief it’d been when he was finally inside her. It had been so long but still felt just as intense and consuming as it had before. More, even, because they knew each other better. Because he loved her.

It felt like coming home.

And then, he epically and most likely irreparably fucked things up. Again. The damned necklace. Why hadn’t he just told her he still had it? And why couldn’t he find the words to explain himself last night? She’d given him more than enough time, and he’d frozen. The look on her face stabbed him in the gut, and in the moment, his old hang-ups had risen to the surface. Thoughts that he didn’t deserve someone like her, how there’d be no way she could ever be truly happy with a fuckup like him.

Around 3:00 that morning, he’d written her a note, which he’d left to the side of her sink, her necklace gently draped on top of it:

I’m so sorry, La. For everything. I’m sorry I let my fear and insecurities affect my actions. I’m sorry for not being completely honest with you.

This belongs to you, and I shouldn’t have kept it. But I’m ready to tell you why I did, if you ever want to know. If not, I can respect and understand that. I’ll leave it up to you.

Whatever happens, I hope you know that you are incredible. Your kindness saved me when I really needed it, so even if you come to regret our time together, I don’t.

I can’t.

K

After leaving the note, he’d gotten dressed and run over to the track, where he pushed himself to the breaking point until the sun came up, his legs and lungs burning as he ran mile after mile. He showered in the locker room, changing into the spare set of clothes he’d stashed there for emergencies. As he sat down on the bench in front of his locker, he couldn’t help but remember the night Lila had come to him. The night he’d fallen ass over feet for her. The night she’d given him the best gift he’d ever received before or since.

You are not your father. You’re a king.

King propped his elbows on his knees, his head bowed low, and cried. He cried until there were no more tears to wrench from his body. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d full-out sobbed. It was probably the night when he’d told his mom that their bags were packed and that they should leave.

Fuck. Would anybody ever want him? Stay with him?

After, he just…wandered around the empty campus for a bit. It was a Sunday, so other than the few weekend studiers who used the library, it was pretty much a ghost town. He didn’t want to go back to the house yet because he wanted to give Lila some space. At the very least, he could give her that much, especially since they’d be stuck in class together tomorrow. After walking a while, he began to feel lightheaded, so he decided to head back to where his car was parked near the house so that he could go get something to eat.

King made the slow walk towards home and then snuck into his car like he was a spy on a secret mission, all while ignoring texts from Knight and Bear. And then Demarcus. And then Will. And then even Jason from across the damn country, for fuck’s sake. He finally just turned off his phone to stop all of the vibrating.

He stopped to get some fast food, which he knew he’d regret later, and then drove up to the overlook. It had been a long time since he’d driven up there, but it was the only place he could think of to go. He pulled into his typical spot, turned off his car, and stared at the valley below in silence. Even here there were memories of Lila.

At the time he’d brought her here, he didn’t understand why, but now he did. There’d always been something about her, from the first time he saw her, that had spoken to him on a cellular level. Perhaps it was just her kind spirit identifying a hurt that she could help heal. Or maybe it’s because all his life, he’d been searching for someone to love, for someone strong enough to love him back.

Lowering his head to the steering wheel, he breathed deeply, trying to find some semblance of peace. So wrapped up in his own head, he didn’t notice the form standing just outside his passenger window until a soft knock wrenched his body upward.

He blinked a couple of times because it couldn’t be who he thought it was. Not in a million years.

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