Page 29 of Man On

"So?" Noah asks. His eyebrows are raised excitedly, and I can tell that he really wants me to like this movie.

"I didn't hate it," I say, and it's not a lie. "I can't say that I followed everything that was happening. But there were parts I liked." His eyes seem to implore me to go on, so I tell him I liked The Time Warp.

"Yes! Get up, I'll teach you the dance."

"That is absolutely not happening."

"Come on, Lane. Don't be boring."

"I'm not?—"

He's giving me a very pointed look. After rolling my eyes so far back in my head I see grey matter, I stand up beside him while he pulls the song up on his laptop. He sings loudly, along with the lyrics. He doesn't care if he sounds good or not, which he doesn't, and I kind of love it.

I feel like an idiot, but I let him walk me through the moves. He doesn't stop until the song is over, and I have to physically restrain him from starting it again. I’m laughing so hard my cheeks hurt, and Noah is watching me with an odd expression.

It registers that I am touching him again, and I pull back as if I've been burned. I busy myself with cleaning up from dinner, breaking down the pizza box and stuffing it into the trash can. It's not quite full, but full enough to use it as an excuse to get out of the apartment for a few minutes. I let him know that I'm taking the trash out without looking at him, and flee from the apartment.

There's a trash chute on our floor, but I need a little air, so I carry it downstairs and to the dumpster outside. Enjoying the quiet sounds of crickets, I take a seat on the bench and look up at the sky, thinking about the last words of the movie. About how humans are really nothing more than insects in the grand scheme of things. And I imagine God’s hand reaching down from the sky and squashing me with his thumb.

After a while, I figure I should go upstairs before Noah comes looking for me. He seems clingy today. Although, now that I've made it weird, he might let me go to bed.

As I'm entering the building, two guys that I'm pretty sure are on the football team are coming out of the gym. I think I’ve seen them a few times while I’m working out, and they always give me strange looks. I’ll probably come down here and lift tomorrow. I’ve been running so many drills lately, I’ve not kept up with my usual routine.

These two guys haven't skipped any lifting, though. It calms me that I can notice their chiseled muscles and not think anything inappropriate. I'm not attracted to them in any way, shape or form.

Not that I'm attracted to any guy like that.

"Hey man," one guy says, and I snap my gaze away from his impressive calves. Did he catch me looking? I wasn't looking at him like that, I was just noticing how big his calves are. Bigger than mine, I think.

"Hey," I say casually, moving past them.

"You doing alright?" The other guy asks with an odd expression on his face. I feel like they’re watching me with concerned gazes.

"Yeah. You?" I have no idea how to respond to the way this stranger is looking at me like he knows me.

"All good, man. Have a good night," the first guy says, and they continue down the hallway.

I'm distracted enough by the strange interaction that I almost forget the tense atmosphere I'm returning to. Noah is sitting on the couch with his laptop when I walk back into the apartment.

"You go for a walk or something?"

"Or something," I reply, slipping my feet out of my slides.

Before I can make it halfway to my room, Noah calls out to me.

"Hey, Lane?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever watched porn?"

I stop in my tracks, eyes and mouth open wide in shock. "What?” My voice cracks. “Why would you ask me that?"

"We're bro—friends. We're friends, Lane. Friends talk about this shit."

I wasn’t aware that not actively being hateful to each other makes us friends, but okay.

"You do yoga and watch gay movies and talk about porn with all your friends?"

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