Page 74 of Fixation of the Mind

His voice had a deceiving lyrical quality to it. Everything about him was so pretty and soft, like he was Prince Charming, but his eyes and words were such a contrast that it was jarring. All I could do was give him what he wanted.

Talking through his smiling teeth, he asked, “Are you deaf or stupid? I just gave you permission to call me by my first name in private. You should be thanking me.” His hand squeezed mine so hard the bones shifted against each other.

“Thank you, Neil,” I said enthusiastically.

“Now. You’re a lucky, lucky little urchin that the Riccis stumbled upon, but don't think that your loyalty belongs to them.” His voice held a violent edge to it. “You owe everything to us Ambroses, the ones who trained you and helped you pass the test.”

He glared down at me, whispering in my ear, “I really hoped they would break you enough that you wouldn't pass, so we could’ve used you as a broodmare, but I guess you really are a Rose.” He shrugged like it was no big deal either way, but I knew that his words were his truth. He really wanted to see me locked up and raped until I gave birth. I could tell he would get some kind of sick satisfaction from it.

My skin crawled at the thought of this man trying to control everything from the background, trying to make me afraid. I didn't want to give him that power, so I sassed, “Sorry to disappoint.”

He let out a loud chuckle like we were old friends. He moved closer again, his voice still a harsh whisper. “Do you think you can help them?” I looked around to make sure no one had heard him before looking back at his smug smile. “You want to save them? Let me inform you that you can’t. You’re a liability to them in more ways than one, and you know it. It's why I wanted you to fail so I could kill you as soon as you popped out an heir. I don't like people knowing our weaknesses.”

I knew his threats were real, I expected that kind of behavior from him, so that wasn't what bothered me. I tried to tell myself he just wanted to scare me and was lying to cover for whatever scheme he was working, but I knew there was some truth to them. My stomach turned, fighting the dread that knocked on the door to my heart. I didn't want to be a liability for the guys. I never wanted to be in the position to hurt them, but something inside of me wouldn’t let them go. We needed each other.

“I could help you guys, but I would want something in return. I want you to renounce your territory claim.” Thinking about his words, I let him twirl me around. “It’s too much to handle for a girl like you anyway. You need to tell Maria you don’t want North America back, only wanting to claim your council seat instead, then you and the boys will have a powerful ally.” His slimy smile made my lips turn down, wanting to be anywhere else but dancing with this man.

Hating that I thought he was right, I looked down at my feet. Saying yes to him felt so wrong, but it seemed like the only way to get him off the boys’ backs. Looking up, I had just opened my mouth to agree when a savagely cheerful voice interrupted the moment.

“Can I cut in?”

Ravi had stopped beside Neil and me, his whole body vibrating as he held out his hand. The smile on his face was nothing but a facade. Neil’s hand tightened, crunching my fingers before he let go, kissing the back of my hand before he stepped back. “Think about it."

Ravi smiled wider, leaning into his uncle and whispering something to him, then turned and pulled me further onto the dance floor. When I glanced back at Neil, his hands were fisted, his smile so wide he was showing all of his teeth before he stalked off.

“What did you say to him?” I whispered, thinking it wasn’t good to poke the bear.

Ravi smirked, twirling me once before pulling me in tight. “I told him that you were giving up nothing, so he could take his offer and shove it up his loose butthole.”

“Ravi!” I smacked him, half fearful of the repercussions, half happy about him defending me against his uncle.

“Just dance with me, Rin.” His breath danced along my skin, causing it to pebble, and butterflies worked their way around my stomach. “I don’t want to think about politics, dangers, or the future. Just the here and now. You in my arms, wearing that dress.”

I knew I couldn’t melt into him like I wanted. He couldn't hold me close and tight, mingling our bodies together, but we could dance. “Alright. One dance.”

“Five,” he countered.

“One.”.

He scoffed. “Three.” The plea in his voice caused me to give in just a tad.

“Two, but that's the last offer.”

“Deal!” He twirled me again, and we danced as just two people enjoying the music. I was surprised Ravi could be so close to me without any sexual tension, keeping it light, fun, and innocent. It was a nice change of pace for us. After the second dance, my feet began to hurt so we sat down.

“You know, you remind me of your mother.” I gasped, jumping away from Maria’s voice. She had come out of nowhere.

With my hand on my chest, I felt my chest rise and fall. “Why do you all make no noise!”

She looked around the room, a smirk on her face. “Well, because we’re trained killers. It's what we do.” Her matter-of-fact tone calmed me down, but Ravi was glaring at Maria like she had ruined everything. Without the haze of surprise, I jumped back to what she had just said.

“What did you know about my mother?” Knowing nothing about my parents, other than the fact that they were dead, I really wanted to hear what she had to say.

“Your mother and I were best friends. That necklace,” she pointed to my triangle rose pendant, “was one-of-a-kind made for your mother by your father. When Cinzia mentioned it, I told her to get closer to you, to watch you. Then you got tangled up with Ambros, and I had to know if you were Lisa’s kid.”

Her eyes got glossy as she turned away from me, looking out into the sea of killers and powerful people. “She was the only friend I ever had.” She turned back around to face me, back straight. “I knew there was a possibility of you, but I never knew for sure, and at that time I was given the head chair and had other immediate problems to focus on." She lifted her glass to the room, "This group can be a volatile one and needs a firm hand, especially when it's in a time of upheaval.”

She reached out, touching the pendant on my neck as she whispered, “She probably didn't want you to be in this world…”

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