Page 55 of Fixation of the Mind

Remembering the things Maria and Rion had told me, I knew this machine would pick somewhere I was familiar with as the setting of the first test. Looking around, I tried to put a name to where I was, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It felt like I knew the place, but it had a different aura that made it unrecognizable. I started walking in one direction until I saw something familiar in the distance. Picking up my pace, I ran forward, stopping short when a familiar crappy, broken down porch stared back at me.

Breathing heavily, I took a hesitant step forward, telling myself over and over that I wasn't afraid. I was an adult now. I wasn't going to be scared of the rickety old house that used to fill me with such dread. The orphanage was no longer my home.

I thought I was being strong, forcing myself to step closer and closer, but as my body shook harder, I realized that was a mistake. Even if my mind told me what I wanted to hear, my body still had a visceral reaction to this place.

“Layrin!”

Her voice was all around me. Whipping my head around, I tried to catch sight of her, but it seemed I was just too slow. Turning round and round, my name echoed like she was right next to me… but she wasn't.

As soon as I stopped, the whole area turned to nighttime. The vomit-yellow porch flared out, becoming the only source of light in the space around me. A howling wind whipped past me, and dread filled my veins. All of the alarm bells in my head were going off, telling me something bad was coming.

The crunch of heavy steps sounded before me. My eyes connected with a menacing shadow heading my way, and my feet started to move in the opposite direction. I told myself to wait, to see who it was, to face them, but the fear in my limbs took over as my pulse kicked into high gear.

“Layrin! You stupid girl. I’m going to whip you when I find you!”

Miss. Vaughn's voice wrapped around me like a rope, making it hard to breathe. I began to run when those footsteps moved faster, creating a steady beat behind me like a ticking time bomb. The forest warped in front of my face, shadows darting from side to side, and I covered my head as I tried to dodge them.

I tripped over a rock I didn't see, smacking my face into the forest floor. Pain exploded up my nose and into the side of my face. Groaning at the impact, I lifted myself up and saw three shapes coming out of the darkness. It was Lennon and two of his buddies that I’d fought with when the guys first came to the orphanage, but instead of them being the boys I remembered, they were now men, staring at me with bitter hostility.

“I told you this bitch would come back,” Lennon said to his buddies, pointing at me with a baseball bat he’d pulled from behind his back. “It's time to get our revenge, to teach this bitch who not to mess with.” He raised the bat, and my eyes went wide until it came crashing down. I rolled to the side, and the bat hit the ground with a heady thwack, narrowly missing me.

Popping up as fast as I could, I ran away while they yelled obscenities at me. My bruised nose felt terrible against the wind, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let those boys beat me up. Wiping at my nose, my fingers came away stained red, and I remembered Maria’s warning. If I died here, I’d die out in the real world. Fuck!

Pumping my arms as fast as I could, I yelled at myself, Think, Layrin! Fucking think!

I knew that I couldn't keep running from them forever. Thinking back to my training with Roux, I remembered a tip from him. He’d told me that if it was me against someone with a weapon, I only had two options—run away or take the weapon. Knowing that there was no escape, I thought quickly and headed to the clearing to make a stand.

With us being deeper in the woods, it was dark. The only light was the occasional moonlit ray that broke between the gaps in trees, so the clearing would give me greater ability to see.

As soon as I made it, I found the large boulder and hid behind it. Fingers digging into the rough stone, I waited for my moment when I could surprise Lennon and take the bat.

The seconds ticked by. Where the fuck were these guys? Last I knew, they were a couple yards behind me. Did they get lost?

Before I knew what was happening, pain sliced down my back. I arched at the pain as I cried out, and before I could turn to see who it was, someone grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged me into the center of the clearing.

“Always the troublesome one, Layrin. Such a stupid girl.” The blood in my veins froze when Miss Vaughn’s grouchy venomous voice came from above.

Shit! Panic took over my body, and I began wriggling and kicking as fast as I could to get out of her iron grip to no avail. She threw me on the ground, my back exploding with pain as I looked up at her. Her matted gray hair stuck up in different places, and her stained rose pink mumu matched her perpetual snarl with missing and rotted teeth. All of that was indeed horrifying, but what made my heart stop was the switch in her hand. It was the exact same one she’d used when she had me held down and whipped for stealing.

The scar on my back throbbed alongside the new mark she’d just made. From out of nowhere, Lennon and his two boys appeared behind her, malicious, hateful smiles shining down on me. They circled me like I was their prey, and dread stilled my thoughts.

What were they going to do to me? Why did they hate me so much? The air was thick with my fear, making it harder and harder for me to move, to do anything but stare at them like a deer in headlights. It was pathetic. I was pathetic.

Tears gathered in my eyes, and Miss Vaughn smiled wide. “Boys.”

Like a unified team, they pounced, grabbing me and turning me around before splaying me out on the hard ground. “No. No. Stop. Please.” My heart was beating out of my chest, tears spilling over as I begged them to not do this to me. Not again.

“Girls like you need a heavy hand, Layrin. You need to know your place in this world, and it's underneath my switch. You just never learn, you stupid girl.”

A sob broke from my lips as the boys’ fingers dug into me, holding down my limbs. She smacked her hand with the switch, making a loud thwack that rang in my ears. Her cackle was the only warning I got before the pain came.

My back felt like it was on fire, and my cries echoed in the woods, unanswered, as the beating continued. Not again. Not fucking again. I didn’t think I could handle this a second time.

That familiar dark voice in my head woke up. This time, it wasn’t a whisper like it used to be. It was more, like a whole new side of myself had emerged. Are you going to let this happen again? Its chuckle was cruel and lifeless. Don’t let this break you. Remember, it's a test. We promised we would get out.

The next slash came, but this time the pain wasn't so horrible. That's right. Don’t pay attention to that. Look around. What can you do?

I turned my face from one side to the next until I saw Lennon’s bat on the ground, right within reach. If I could get that, I might have a chance. I barely felt the next hit, focusing on the boys’ hold on me. The one at the bottom, holding my feet, was getting weaker, so if I waited, I might have my shot.

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