Page 24 of Fixation of the Mind

His shaky hand came up, cupping my jaw as his thumb lightly caressed my cheek. He leaned his head forward until I actually thought he was going to do it and I was going to let him.

That was until his phone rang. We froze like someone had walked in on us. It took two seconds for his face to fall and his normal grumpiness to take back over as he got up and stalked to his bag. He yanked his phone out and barked, “What?!”

I stayed in my spot, not daring to move. Once I did, the moment would be over. I’d have to say goodbye to the moment where me and Mr. Grumps finally clicked, connected.

That was short lived because he motioned for me to come over. I scrambled up, and he pointed to my bag as he grabbed his. “Yeah, he was here.” He was quiet for a second before he growled, “Because I fucking took care of it.” He motioned for me to follow, and I did, just like a little puppy with its master.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re coming the fuck home. We’ve had enough today.” He shoved his phone into his pocket, and we walked out the door, not saying a word about what had happened between us. Even in the car, we were quiet. He turned up the music, making it known that he didn’t want to talk about it, which pissed me off.

Fucking fine. I didn’t need to talk about it either. I didn’t need that kind of complication in my life. Nope. No. I’d already had sex with him, and that was enough for me. Who cared if we had a moment? He’d lied and manipulated me, and I was using him to survive. That was it.

The moment was dead and gone, and in the end, it meant nothing. At least that's what I told myself.

Chapter 9

Ihate her. I hate her. I hate her.

Driving back home, I kept telling myself that over and over again. I hated how her sweet wild rose scent filled the car, clouding my mind. I hated how she pushed my buttons while exceeding all my expectations. I hated how she was always right to some degree. I hated how it felt to have her hold me in her arms.

Most of all, I hated how weak I felt around her.

Yes. I hated this woman with all of my being… So why did it kill me to see her hurt?

Crushing the steering wheel under my hands, I pondered more about how much I hated this gorgeously stunning woman. With her bewitching silver eyes that saw too much, partnered with her shiny chestnut locks that shined like rubies in the sun, down to her perfectly crafted body that would make any man's eyes bug out of their head. Yeah. I hated all of that.

We got home, and I bolted from the car, not even opening her door after I parked. Ravi greeted me at the door, but I blew past him and went upstairs, saying I wasn't hungry tonight. Just as I shut my door, I could hear Ravi asking Rin what happened.

I waited for her to tell him about the whole ordeal, to blabber about how weak I was in front of my uncle. How I couldn't stand up to him even when I wanted to with all of my soul. She would tell them everything, and I just couldn't face my brothers’ disappointed looks after that.

“Oh, nothing.” Her blatant lie surprised me, and I pressed my ear against the door, trying to ignore the loud, steady pounding of my heart. “Your uncle is a dick, by the way. If I have to kill someone to be sworn in or something, can it be him?”

My brother gave her a nervous laugh, and my lips quivered as I fought to keep them from rising. He responded, “It’s not like you’re joining a gang, Rin, but you’ll have to get in line on that one. Our uncle has a lot of enemies, so you might only get to see a corpse.”

It was silent for a second before Ravi groaned like something physically pained him. “Aww, come on, Rin, don’t pout like that! It makes me want to give you whatever you want!”

She giggled, her voice getting more distant. “Okay, okay. I’ll save the pouting for something I really want.”

Well, that’s fucking dangerous. Ravi will cave in an instant, and Rion could be convinced if she really wanted to. She was smart, and I hate that, too.

“Rin!” Ravi whined again, but this time it was filled with more mirth than actual longing. Their voices drifted off as they went into the kitchen, and I was left alone with my thoughts.

Slumping against the door, I clenched my fists, repeating my mantra again. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. How the fuck was I going to face her tomorrow? I was at a severe disadvantage, and it made my skin crawl.

Her giggle echoed in my skull, triggering the memory of her holding me and how good that had felt. How soft and kind her voice was, even when I knew she was still mad at us. How her warm hand felt against my cool cheek, heating up my dead soul with just a simple touch. The memory flashed again, and this time her eyes were focused on something else. My dick twitched.

Was she staring at my lips? Her eyes glanced downward as her lips parted, and a different emotion flashed in her eyes. Was that…? Did she desire me? Even when she hated me?

Now, that I understood.

I rewound that memory like a movie and watched it over and over again, making sure I truly comprehended what was going on. A smile slowly creeped up my face when I realized she wasn't a perfect angel like she seemed. She had darkness in her as well, and I could match darkness.

Even while confronting me, she still desired me, wanted me… and I could use that.

I could get on an even playing field with her and shift the balance between us back to normal. I began to think about tomorrow, coming up with a rough outline of a special training session just for her. Yes, this could work.

My body tingled as the idea took root, and my dark soul rose up to the challenge. Oh, we would be training, there was no doubt about it, but I was going to make her hate me just as much as I hated her. That way, we could be even again… and I couldn’t wait.

I woke up early and arranged for Ravi to drop her off to meet me, claiming I had to leave early to set up for the day’s training session. He grumbled about having to wear a hat and mask, but I knew he would do it since it meant more time with Rin.

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