Page 61 of Fixation of the Mind

“This is the perfect time to bring up that our darling Rin here has promised to spend all day with Cinzia tomorrow.” Her head snapped toward Rion, glaring at his crossed arms and smug smile. That must be what they were arguing about when she got out of the car.

Ravi quickly snapped out of his daze, whining, “What?! But you just got back!”

Her frown deepened toward Rion before she gave Ravi a hesitant smile. “And we can spend all night together, but Cin and I haven't hung out in a while, and I think it would be nice. Especially since I’m now a part of Foedus. I need to start building up allies, right?”

Ravi's eyes flew to mine before bouncing to Rion's, pleading with us to figure out a way to win the argument. I was pulling up nothing other than just telling her no, and I didn’t think that would fly with her. Being the only rational one, I growled, “Take it inside.”

Without waiting for the rest of them, I went inside to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator. Hearing Rin's soft, pleasing tone coming closer, I knew they were following me. I wasn't a fancy chef like Rion, but I could cook some meat, heat up some tortillas, and cut up condiments, so I figured it might be nice to do a make-your-own tacos night. Grabbing the steak and chicken, I prepped while they continued to argue.

“Don't you think it's too soon after the test to go traipsing about the city?”

That earned Ravi a nasty look, to which he tried to be strong and keep his stance, but it only took two seconds for him to wither in his seat. “I think because of what I went through, this would be a nice reminder of what normal life can be like.” Her words hit him so hard he slumped into his arms on the table, officially defeated.

That didn't take long.

I cut the steak into nice thin slices, found some seasoning that smelled decent, and cooked them up.

“I understand that it's been hard lately, but I think all three of us would like to have some one-on-one time with you, especially before you take up a council seat.” It was a good shot from my planner brother. Rin looked to the side, biting her lip in that insanely tantalizing way that made me want to rip it from her and nibble on it myself.

“I can see your point.” That was much too easy. It seemed like she was gearing up for a but. “But…”

Bingo!

“You've had me for the past three months.” We all raised our heads, ready to argue that point, but she lifted her hand. “I know it was for training, but don’t you think Cin would’ve liked to train me? Wouldn't you feel lonely if I went to train with the Riccis instead of you?”

I spat out an answer before I thought about it. “There was no way we would let that happen. We would kill them all before they got three months alone with you.”

Rin’s silver eyes flashed up to me, watching me like she was assessing a lion. Joke’s on her, I hated that look. I hated it so much I wanted to kiss it off of her face.

“That's exactly my point.” She smiled, and I tilted my head. Rion’s mouth pinched at me, and I knew that I’d somehow misstepped. “There was never any choice for me in the matter, and while I’m happy with being trained by you guys, I don't think that I should be deprived of having a friend. Especially one that could give me pointers on the other families and help down the road. From what you guys have said, the Riccis have a strong presence on the council, and doesn’t it keep me safer to show that I’m publicly tied to at least Cin?”

Looking at Rion, I shrugged, giving up, I went back to finish cooking the chicken and started chopping up the toppings.

Rion went to open his mouth, another rebuttal queued up, I was sure, but her soft voice pleaded, “Rion, I just want to hang out with my friend. This doesn't mean I'm going to leave you all for her. I’m not picking her over you, and this most definitely doesn't mean that she is more important to me than you three, but I need this. I need to feel normal again, even if it's just a facade.” She took a breath, and when I turned, she was looking down at her lap.

“The test was harder than I thought it would be. It played on my fears, tricked me, showed me things that I didn't want to see or feel.”

Ravi’s voice cut through some of the building tension, and he grabbed her hand like he was being the nice guy again. “You don't have to tell us if you don't want to.”

Rion quickly followed with what we were all thinking. “While Ravi is right, we most definitely want to know if you would like to tell us. I understand how the test can… play on your emotions.”

She looked up, strain in her eyes. “I'm sure you’ve all noticed the scar on my back.” Her smile held only sadness when we nodded. “It was nice of you guys not to pressure me about it. I appreciate it.”

Taking a deep breath, she explained, “In high school, I had taken some under-the-table jobs and stored cash away for when I turned eighteen. Miss Vaughn found it and accused me of stealing from her. She had Lennon and his buddies jump me. They dragged me into the woods where they held me down while she whipped me with a tree branch.”

She didn't look up at any of us, but I was glad for it. My eyes bulged with vengeance and murder. I was going to kill that woman. I was going to make such a good trophy from her. I might even hang it up in the living room. Looking at my brothers, their expressions mirrored mine, and I felt relieved. We were all on board, which meant it was a done deal. Torturing her would be so sweet. Maybe Rin would want to watch?

She continued, forcing me out of my murderous fantasies. “The first part of the test had to do with saving myself from that situation.” Yep, I was going to have her die in a viciously painful way. Rin turned in her seat, looking up at me before she bowed her head. “It was your training, Roux, that helped me calm down and get the upper hand.”

My heart stopped, frozen in time. I couldn't believe what she’d just said. My training helped her get out of that traumatizing situation. The joy and honor I felt were new to me. I wasn't the happy brother, and I didn't have a good moral code, so it wasn’t that often I could claim positive emotions about myself. The fact that I’d helped her in that situation had me living on cloud nine. I hadn’t stopped that bitch from putting the scars on her in the first place, but at least I’d been able to save her from living through it a second time.

I bowed my head as I said in a low voice, failing to keep the emotion out of my words, “I’m glad I could help.”

She gave me a small, beautiful smile, one that made my hate for her soar as my love deepened. That was how it was always going to be for me and her. I would hate that she made me feel things, made me love her, but I was okay with it now and happy with it all the same.

“The next one was about Vivian.” She tensed up, licking her lips before pushing forward. She told us about the situation she was in and how she’d figured out the pattern in the lights. “Rion, if I never had those lessons with you about computer code and pattern recognition, I wouldn't have figured that out. I wouldn’t have had the ability to save the friend that I… failed.”

She looked down, drops falling onto the floor as her body shook. “I got a chance, though.” She wiped her hand across her cheeks. “At least I got a chance to save my friend and face what has been eating me up inside.”

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