Page 30 of A Love of Wrath and Rapture

“You’ll never survive out here on your own. You need someone’s protection.”

“What if I want to die out here?” Evangeline retorts, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t have any intention of living.”

“That’s a lie,” I say. “I can sense the fear in you. I can smell it.”

My fingers curl, beckoning her towards me. All she has to do is accept me. Love me. And I’ll give her the world.

But the decision must come from her heart. I will not force her to do anything, but I hope she makes the right choice.

13

EVANGELINE

As much as I want to run towards the treeline away from this monster, I have a feeling that he’s not going to let me go without a fight. But he’s right. In so many ways.

I’m not going to survive out here for long. Either the cold will kill me or a wild animal that finds me vulnerable and alone. That will be the end of me, and as much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I don’t actually want to die.

The thought of that terrifies me.

“If I say no, will you hurt me?” I ask in a small voice. He towers over me. With those sharp claws, he could swipe at me once and I’d be dead in an instant. “Will you kill me like you killed him?”

His outstretched arm drops limply against his side. There’s an indecipherable expression on his face. I don’t even understand what I’m looking at when I gaze into his eyes. Sharp teeth line the insides of his mouth. He has a small nose and a sharp jawline. There’s nothing human about his features, which adds to my unease about him.

I don’t know what to feel, but at the same time, I don’t feel repulsed. Instead, I feel a strange fondness for him. It’s probably because he saved my life. And now, he’s willing to protect me at all costs.

If I want to survive on my own, I’ll need an ally like him.

And if I return to the settlement with him by my side, how could they ever turn me away? Especially if I warn them what he’s capable of?

My mind tells me one thing, but my heart leads me towards a different path. Gods, what do I do? Why did I say that stupid hymn? It’s completely ruined my life.

“I’m such a fool,” I whisper inadvertently. My mind replays the moment when I said those words, playfully and stupidly. “I should have never said those words.”

“I’m glad you did,” he says. I fight the urge to roll my eyes. “It’s because of you that I’m here now.”

And what good does that do? If I never said those words, I’d still be in the safety of my settlement. I wouldn’t have turned everyone against me. I wouldn’t have made enemies of everyone who used to be my friend.

Swallowing thickly, my shoulders slump and I sigh loudly. It doesn’t seem as if I have much of a choice. It horrifies me that I’m in a position like this to begin with, but I created this situation for myself.

And now, I have to put together all of the broken pieces I have in front of me. Maybe someday, things will start to feel better. Right now, I feel like a pile of taura shit under the blazing sun.

“Fine,” I say. My hands drop to my sides loudly and I offer him a nod. “I’ll go with you, Xeros. I want your protection.”

“What a fine choice,” he says. I didn’t realize that he was capable of smiling, but he’s sending me a small one now. “You’re not going to regret this decision, Evangeline.”

“How do you know my name?” I ask, scowling. “I’ve never told you what I’m called.”

“It’s something that I’m still trying to understand myself. When I woke up, your name came to my mind immediately. It’s proof that you and I are connected in a way that I can’t describe. It transcends everything logical that I’ve ever known.”

I never would have known that those stupid little words I said as a way to joke around would have me connected with a monster like him.

None of this makes sense, but it’s my life now. The unknown that lies ahead of me scares me senseless, but I have no other choice but to face it head-on with Xeros by my side. There’s a small sliver of solace that brings me.

At the very least, if there’s any other beast or human that wants to attack me, I have him to tear them apart. I can’t lie, it felt great to see Xeros kill Kraven as savagely as he did. When the light left Kraven’s eyes, I knew that I was safe.

Inside me exists a brutality that I didn’t know I had until I crossed paths with Xeros. I suppose he’s not the only one being so deeply affected by this connection that we now share with each other.

“Where are we supposed to go?” I ask him. “We have nothing. We don’t have food or water or shelter.”

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