Page 51 of The Baby Plan

“There was still some doubt in my mind.”

“But she looks so like you, and you fit so well together.”

“I know, but she’s a baby — you can convince yourself she looks like anyone. I wasn’t in contact with Natasha for a long time, and then she was on my doorstep with a child she said was mine...”

“You didn’t trust her.”

“I know she was your sister and . . .”

“But she wasn’t always the most truthful, or reliable of people,” Sophie finished for him.

Samson seemed relieved. “I suspected she needed money. I thought that might be why she’d come to see me. Claiming Alana was mine would have been a very convenient way to get a steady income from me.”

“I like to think Natasha wouldn’t have behaved like that, or at least wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. But honestly, I can’t be sure. She did steal from Mum and Dad. I know she eventually came to regret doing so, but...” She trailed off. She could understand his scepticism. She guessed he’d be an idiot if he wasn’t suspicious given the circumstances. Though why not do the test earlier?

“But why did you wait to have it done? Why now?” she continued.

“Because I felt too guilty,” Samson said, looking away.

“Guilty?” said Sophie. This wasn’t what she expected. “About what? Wanting to take Alana? Or what...”

“What?” Samson interrupted immediately. “No, no. I would never take Alana away from you. Never,” he said firmly. “You’re her mother now. No part of this was about that.”

Sophie felt uninvited tears pour down her face with relief at his words. She still didn’t understand, couldn’t match her interpretation of events with what he was saying, but could she somehow have been wrong? “Then what do you feel guilty about?” she found herself asking.

“I killed Natasha.”

“What?” She was stunned for a moment. “Of course you didn’t!”

“I’m responsible. It’s all my fault,” he explained. “She came to see me with Alana, at the house... she was upset when I didn’t respond the way she wanted. I was thrown, she turned up out of the blue. I didn’t believe her, and I told her I didn’t. She lost her temper, threw Alana’s birth certificate at me and stormed off. Then she got in her car and... If I’d reacted better, if she hadn’t felt she and Alana had been rejected... she wouldn’t have been so wound up. And wouldn’t have crashed her car and died. It’s my fault Alana lost her mother. And you your sister.”

Samson was crying now.

“Oh Samson, is this honestly how you’ve felt?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “That’s why I broke things off with you. I couldn’t be with you, let you trust me, knowing my part in your sister’s death. However much I wanted to be with you, I couldn’t... no matter how great I think we could be together.”

Sophie pulled him to her. “Natasha dying was nothing to do with you or anything you did. She was an adult, responsible for her own actions and her own choices. I don’t blame you for not believing her. No one would. She was always volatile and impulsive. Her death was a terrible accident. It’s a miracle Alana wasn’t in the car. Thank God Natasha dropped her off with a friend. That’s what we need to focus on.”

“Do you mean that? You don’t blame me?”

“Of course I don’t! You reacted as anyone would. If there’s one person who should feel guilty, it’s me — Natasha was on her way to deliver a letter to me when she crashed.”

“But that doesn’t mean her accident . . .”

“Exactly,” interrupted Sophie, softly. “Neither of us was to blame for Natasha’s death.”

“I wish I’d spoken to you about this before.”

“So do I.”

Sophie took Samson’s face in her hands and gently kissed his tears away. He smiled and kissed her back on her mouth. “Do you think you might be willing to give me a second chance? I think I’ve been a bit of an idiot. The last couple of weeks have been awful. I was trying to do the right thing. I thought I was terrible wanting you. With Natasha’s death... But everything was so much worse when I let you go. And I realised how much I’d lost and how much I was hurting you.”

“I think I’d be willing to give things another try.” Sophie smiled as she kissed him again.

Samson pulled away. “I need to explain about the adoption papers.”

“It’s OK. I understand. Alana means just as much to you as she does to me. You were protecting yourself.”

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