“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” said Sophie shortly.
“She’s finding it difficult to adjust to Alana I guess,” Samson explained. “It was a surprise for both of us — finding out I was a father, I mean. And it’s not what she signed up for, you know? She’s not a baby person.”
Sophie had no desire to hear any more about Helena or how hard she was finding things. She gave a non-committal, “Hmm...”
Realising Sophie wasn’t in a very good mood with him, Samson continued, “I should have told you about her before.”
Worried Samson would assume she was jealous unless she corrected him quickly, Sophie responded, “Your private life is your own, it’s nothing to do with me.” She was very careful to fuss around cleaning up Alana, and to avoid eye contact with Samson. “Actually, as you’re here, it might be a good time to work out how we’re going to organise things around the house.”
Samson appeared a bit taken aback by this turn of events. “How do you mean?”
“Well,” said Sophie, thinking on her feet, “Maybe we could have a weekly schedule, so we know who’s looking after Alana and when, and the times either one of us will be unavailable. We should have a meeting each Sunday to plan it.”
“Right. That’s certainly very . . . organised.”
“And would it be possible for you to clear a shelf in the fridge for my food?”
“Sure . . .”
“Great. I’d also like to pay my way. I don’t expect a free ride.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“It is,” said Sophie firmly.
“OK,” Samson said resignedly. “How much were you thinking?”
Sophie was thrown: she hadn’t thought any of this through, and certainly didn’t have any figure in mind. She knew it would be a good idea to put some distance between them.
“£200?” she suggested.
“A month?”
“A week,” she replied determinedly, swiftly doing some calculations in her head. She had savings, and hopefully her flat in London would be rented out soon and she’d have some work. She should be able to afford it. “I insist.”
“All right,” said Samson, with a shrug. “But there’s no need.”
“I’d feel more comfortable.”
“Take whatever shelf in the fridge you want and I’ll clear you out some cupboard space later,” Samson offered. “Shall I take Alana for her bath?”
“Yeah, thanks, that would be great. I’ll pop out to the supermarket. Do you need anything?”
“Nope, I’m good. I was going to make a curry tonight if you’d like some.”
Sophie’s stomach rumbled at the thought. She wished Samson weren’t such a good cook, it would make his food much easier to resist if he wasn’t. But he had a girlfriend, a very beautiful girlfriend, and Sophie could feel that the more time she spent around Samson, the more she was attracted to him, especially when she saw how sweet he was with Alana. She needed to take a step back, mark out some boundaries, for her own good. Her mind was also very much focusing on the problem of Alana’s future still not being properly decided: they couldn’t stay living with Samson for ever, but if he turned around and tried to push for sole custody of Alana, as would probably be his right, it would be so much harder to fight him were she to allow her feelings to get even more out of control. Her priority was keeping Alana with her, or at least having shared custody, and she needed to remember that.
“No, I’ll sort myself. Thanks, though,” she replied.
* * *
Sophie felt more than a little silly cooking her frozen pizza while Samson made a delicious smelling sag aloo complete with fragrant basmati rice, yoghurt and poppadoms. But she was determined to stick to her guns: they needed space, it would be far too easy to settle into some domestic routine, too close to pretending to be a couple. Her feelings would end up being crushed and it wasn’t right with Samson having a girlfriend — she went by an unwritten code that she’d never go after another woman’s man. Sure, Helena hadn’t exactly been welcoming towards her, but it must be a difficult situation; it’s only natural it would take her a while to get used to things. As Samson had said, Helena certainly hadn’t expected him to have a baby, and then to have the baby and her aunt move in with him. Maybe, given time, she’d become friendlier, but Sophie supposed she couldn’t blame Helena for being off with her — she’d most likely act the same way if their roles were reversed.
And the niggling thought of earlier, of Samson pushing for full custody of Alana, wouldn’t stop spiralling around and around her head. In their new-found rapport and the sheer busyness of the last weeks, she’d managed to largely push it to the back of her mind, but today’s wobble in their relationship had once again sprouted that seed of worry — he seemed nice and genuine, and she was certain he adored Alana, but what would happen if he decided he’d had enough of having his daughter’s aunt hanging around? Or if he and Helena got married? What rights did she have? She wasn’t even sure and she didn’t like that. She was used to having everything ordered and knowing where she stood. This situation made Sophie feel totally out of her comfort zone.
Samson tried to make conversation, asking about her day and wanting to know all about Alana at the baby group, but Sophie felt too uncomfortable and wary to relax into small talk and was relieved when she’d eaten her food and could make her excuses and escape to the sanctuary of her bedroom.
Her sleep was far more interrupted than the night before. She wished Samson had told her about Helena when they’d first met. Then she would have properly known the situation she was getting herself into when she agreed to move into his house.