Page 100 of Never Have I Ever

My dad.

My mom.

And now Laird.

“You knew me . . .” While that sinks in, I whisper, “Take me home.”

“Please don’t do this. I can explain when you’re calm.”

The anguish I feel, the dread growing unbeknownst, breaches the control that kept me afloat. “Calm?” I laugh and then go silent, knowing he was lying this whole time. The fight I had vanishes as I’m submerged in my deepest emotions. Grappling to save myself, I throw my arms wide against the console and the door. “I can’t do this. I need out.” When I close my eyes, my mind plays tricks on me—Laird in the distance, our eyes locked, but too far to hold on. My breathing shallows as bitterness coats my throat, and I begin to drown. “I, I . . .”

“Breathe, Poppy. Breathe.” His hand lands on my chest, but the words go under with me. “Take a breath.” Panic rises, the choking causing me to gasp. I rest my head on the opening of the window, close my eyes, and take a breath. “You’re okay,” he says, his voice wrapping around me to drag me to safety. “It’s okay.”

I open my eyes to see his crystalized in ice blue. I can’t speak as I take every breath I can, inhaling them into my lungs. “You’re okay, baby.” My heart calms under his touch on my cheek, the warmth of his love for me. “We’ll be okay,” he says and turns back to the freeway.

“I—” It’s not the fight with him that reminds me how harsh life can be. It’s when he slams on the brakes in a sea of traffic.

Tires skidding.

Glass exploding.

Blue skies staring into mine.

Heaven was mine all along.

I hold my last breath as we’re spun around, my chest slamming into his outstretched arm, knocking it out of me and sending me backward. I hit the seat, my head bouncing against the headrest before I have a chance to open my eyes again.

A scream rings in my ears before I realize it’s mine escaping. I find his arm and hold on until we stop spinning, the final blow sending me sideways.

I open my eyes, sucking in shallow breaths. Pinned by the airbag, I look for the one thing that matters. “Laird?” I cry, trying to push off the door to get to him. The seat belt traps me in place. “Laird?” I whimper. “Please. Please. Please.”

His head jerks up. Coughing, he sinks in the seat when he sees me. “Thank God you’re okay.”

I’m holding his arm, my lifeline to him. “Don’t move, okay?”

“I’m okay.” He’s not okay. He wipes across his brow and smears the blood trailing down his face.

“You’re okay,” I say, trying to smile for him, but my tears are too heavy, the thought of losing him overwhelming. His arm is ripped from my hands, and I’m not sure if I’m dead or alive. In the chaos of the collision, I find myself smiling as the memories that had escaped play back like a movie reel.

“I’m all yours.” His smile is so clear, like the happiness we felt that day. His kisses numb the pain and put me right back in Austin.

“How much mine?” I tease, wanting him more than I should.

“I’m all in,” he says as if it’s set in stone.

Everything.

Everything.

He’s everything.

I’m falling for him . . .

I remember.

I remember everything.

It’s been Laird all along. I remember him.

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