Page 70 of The Spell Caster

Costi grabbed the other guardian’s hand, and they scuffled as they tried to best each other.

“Cut it out! You’ll knock stuff over!” I cried.

The three guardians chuckled at me, but Costi released Ewan from the neck hold he’d been attempting.

Bay rolled his eyes. “Anyway, we came to give Blackthorn the rotation since he wasn’t paying attention.” He handed Costi a piece of torn-off notebook paper. “Looks like you and Grey are on the six-thirty shift.”

“Better get some sleep, besties!” Ewan crowed.

“I know where you sleep,” Costi threatened.

Ewan and Bay ducked out of my room, laughing and tumbling around loudly like rocks in a can.

In the hall, Datura was moving a basket to Oliver’s room. “Thanks for the coffee,” she said with a smirk, then toasted me with my own mug.

Fate, it’s too crowded in here already. The stressed-out lack of sleep suddenly pulled on every nerve in my body. I closed the door and flopped down on my bed, throwing an arm over my eyes.

“You’re going to get in trouble,” I told Costi.

“I’m always in trouble,” he said, but there was no heat to it. The second bed rustled as he sat. I supposed it was his now.

He wasn’t wrong. “You’re still partnered with Calamus?”

“Yeah. He didn’t get around to talking to Daire.” He was silent for a long moment. I nearly drifted to sleep before he continued, “I’m not gonna… let him get hurt or anything.”

I sat up quickly. “What? I’d never think you would do something like that.”

Costi’s lips parted, his face caught in an unguarded moment, eyes luminous and vulnerable. It occurred to me that most witches would be quick to judge him. Did he really think I felt the same?

“Costi, I know you. You’re a good man.”

He swallowed and looked away. “No.” His voice sounded like it had been raked across hot coals.

I shifted off my bed to sit next to him. He stiffened as I slid my arms around his middle. I blinked back tears. He’d been strong for me, but he’d had no one to comfort him. “Where’s this coming from?”

“You’re like… like a light,” he grated out. He wrapped himself around me and pressed his forehead into my neck. “The only thing I could ever do for you is be your guardian, and I can’t even do that.”

My heart cracked. I was the defective one who couldn’t summon a familiar. I cradled his face with both hands and tipped his head up so he would look at me. “You don’t need to be anything for me. You’re Costi.”

“Layla,” he whispered, gazing at me as if I was his whole world. His hands tightened where he held my waist. “I can’t have you.” He pressed his forehead to mine.

The truth of it hit me then. This was our permanent reality. We could have a friendship of sorts, but we couldn’t have more than that. Ever. They’d punish him for touching me. They’d never let us build a life together. They wouldn’t let us have what was simmering in Costi’s eyes that I was sure he could also see in mine.

“I’m not really a spell caster,” I whispered back.

He looked at me sadly. “I don’t think they’re gonna let me off on a technicality.”

The only way would be to leave the Circle. Even though neither of us was particularly beloved by our people, could we live with ourselves if we left them to their fates?

“You should get some rest,” I said. “You were out all night.”

Costi made no move to let me go. “Now who’s bossy?”

I quirked my eyebrow at him and used my weight to push him down onto his bed. He gave a surprised grunt, but I sat up and started picking at his shoelaces.

He said nothing, only watched me through his lashes as I tugged off his heavy combat boots. The moment they tumbled to the floor, he hooked one arm around my waist and hauled me down beside him. He pulled me close, draping me over his arm and shoulder, holding me against his chest.

I tucked my hot face under his chin, not daring to look at him. This was very different from when I slept next to him when he was injured. My body lit with breathless energy, but I was held motionless, intoxicated. I was treasured. Safe.