Page 29 of The Spell Caster

Frustration boiled through me, and I clamped it down. I breathed in, then out. I didn’t need to take my feelings out on her. “All right.”

Holly turned a pleading look on Ash. “Give us a minute?”

Their nostrils flared, and they waved a hand in her direction. “Oh, by all means, just pretend I’m not here.” Ash moved about five paces down, just barely out of hearing distance. They threw themself against the wall and crossed their arms with a glare.

Dark amusement trickled through me. Ash was vicious when they were pissed. We were both Troubled, after all.

“Does Ash hate me or something?” Holly asked, trying to pull me farther away.

Ash thought Holly was only in it for herself. That she used people. Thing was, they were right. I shook my head. “You’ll have to ask them,” I said, waiting for her to get to whatever point she had.

We’d been friends growing up, but it was Layla who kept us together. Without her in the middle to keep us nice, we battered our strong wills against each other. I was more than over it.

She was quiet a moment before her shoulders rose and fell with a deep sigh. “Costi, I know I messed up. But I want to try again. With us.”

Surprise jolted me, chased by hot anger. Like Hell. Like Hell. “Yeah? After you said you didn’t wanna be seen with me?”

“You’re still mad about that? You know why. I wouldn’t have been able to get where I am if everyone knew I was dating… someone like you. If you’d just waited—”

“What, I was just supposed to be grateful you’d slum it with me?”

Holly sighed. “Things are different now. I think I’ll be able to get a position with the Arcaenum. I’ve been talking to some of the administration there. I can teach you how to make witches respect you. We can convince them you’re no longer Troubled—”

“You want me to pretend. Be someone I’m not.” She was living in a fantasy world anyway. There was no way to recover from being Troubled. Once you had a label like that, it stuck.

“Don’t be naive. You’re a bad day away from getting thrown out of the Circle. I’m trying to help you.” She rested her hand on my chest. “You can get past this if you try.”

“You’re right about one thing. Things are different now.”

Holly turned behind her to see where I was looking. Who I was looking at. Layla was a vision in black and crimson, swaying to the bright music, laughing with one of the Mountain Circle spell casters. Brilliant, kind, and passionate beneath her shy exterior. Guileless. Everything I’d ever wanted.

Holly whipped her head back to me. “You can’t, Costi. She’s a spell caster.”

I had nothing to say. I knew I couldn’t.

She made a disgusted noise. “For fate’s sake. You’ve always been obsessed with her,” she hissed. “It’s weird. It’s not healthy to be fixated like this. You have to stop. She’ll never return your feelings, and if she did, she’d doom you. She’s keeping you from being happy.”

Nothing could have been further from the truth. Whether she returned my feelings or not, Layla was the one thing keeping me tethered to this world.

I scrubbed a hand through my hair. This was getting old fast. “Why are you bringing this up again, Holly? We didn’t work.”

“That’s not true.” She slid her hand to my shoulder. “We could work.”

I dislodged her with my good arm. “If the Circle decides I’m not Troubled, you mean.”

Even in the dim light I could see her cheeks flush with anger. “Damn it, Costi, that’s for you. Don’t you want to get better?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Besides lusting after a barely grown spell caster?”

Rage boiled through me so hard, the music washed out as my ears rang. How dare she go there. Layla was twenty years old. She wasn’t a child. “So this is about her. That why you’ve been ignoring her? Breaking her heart? You think she’s in your way?”

“You’re such a hypocrite! You’re so tied up about me not wanting to tell anyone. It would be ten thousand times worse with her.”

I didn’t respond. The way I saw it, there was a huge difference between won’t and can’t.

“Costi, just leave her alone already. Someone who cares about you is right in front of you.” She reached out to caress my jaw.

---