Page 124 of The Mirror of Beasts

“I don’t want a dream,” he whispered. I felt almost drunk with the sound of it, the husk of those words. “It’s always been real to me.”

Don’t hurt me, I thought desperately.

Emrys had lied before, had lied and lied and hidden behind his veil of secrets, but his body told the truth and mine responded in kind. A feeling of liquid heat wound through my belly. I felt so dizzy with the sensation of him, I hadn’t realized I’d said it aloud until he answered, his breath whispering against my ear, “Never.”

His hand tightened around my hip, holding me there. “You know what I am …”

But I heard what he was really saying. You can hurt me, too.

I met his gaze, daring him.

“I know what we are,” I told him, sliding a hand back to tangle in his dark, wavy hair. The word burned in me like a brand. Even.

Then his lips were on mine and I knew I was right—that the feeling in me, hot and desperate, that painful longing, echoed in him. I kissed him back, hungry for the sensation of his heart—his heart—racing. Alive. I rocked against him, careful not to brush against his chest, devouring the low, rough sound it drew from him, the way he moved against me in turn.

One moment blurred into the next, his tongue parting my lips as if we’d done this a thousand times, for a thousand years. He turned, easing me down onto the blanket, covering me with his body. The charge between us changed, that molten feeling in my belly spreading as it became a competition, that push and pull between us, that refusal to be the first to pull away.

He was everywhere, consuming all of my senses, erasing the fear from my mind, the painful ache of my battered body. My skin jumped as his hand slipped up beneath the hem of my sweater and skimmed over my skin, careful to avoid the tender spot on my ribs. I ran my hands up the muscles of his back, pulling his shirt free.

He leaned back to let me do it, capturing my face between his hands, holding me there in that stillness, even as I tried to lift my head and meet his lips halfway. He stroked my hair back from my cheek and I saw his fear play out clearly over his face.

“No,” I whispered. “Stop thinking. You know what I am. I know what you are. It’s just us here.”

It was startling but also so completely natural to want him, the comfort of connection. Something in me, that voice that was so quick to cut, told me I was being a fool, that baring everything to him was an invitation to the pain that would inevitably come. But wasn’t that the risk everyone took in opening their heart to another person? Closing myself off hadn’t protected me. It had only kept me alone.

He drew in a sharp breath, his body trembling as I stroked his back, finding the waistband of his jeans. The button.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

I’d been wrong to think he had nothing to lose in this, that he held all the power. His skin was as soft as mine, his heart just as vulnerable. If everything went to pieces around us, this at least would remain.

“Yes.” For the first time in weeks, I felt calm, even if my movements were clumsy, needy. I was protected in the ways that mattered most right now and had been for years, since my first time. But this wasn’t a quick fumble born out of curiosity. This was a promise.

Yes, I see you.

Yes, I want you.

The heat of him overtook me, burned away the world, burned away everything but the feel of him.

The silky night enveloped us, hushing the snowstorm to a whisper, leaving that sole thought singing through my blood as I kissed him again.

Alive, alive, alive …

“All right … this does feel familiar,” I admitted. “Just a little.”

Emrys chuckled as he surveyed the frosted land that lay before us. “Consider it a do-over, then.”

My gaze slid sideways toward him, but he only looked ahead, pointing at a dark shape diminished by the miles between us. “That’s the castle, isn’t it?”

I shielded my eyes against the glare of the strange, milky sunlight. “Looks like it.”

The storm had raged all through the night into the morning, and had only died down moments ago. The clouds gathering behind us, and the sharp quality to the air, made it feel like it had only temporarily retreated.

“That’s where Rosydd was supposed to open the portal for us,” I said, trying to rub some warmth into my arms. “Hopefully the others are headed that way too.”

If something had happened to them in the night while I was safely tucked away with him beside a cozy fire … I drew in a deep breath, letting cold air clear the lingering fog of sleep.

Emrys swept an arm out toward it. “Shall we?”

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