Page 25 of The Spark

She tried hard to make contact at first, sending postcards and letters and emails, leaving messages. She even dropped in on my mum a couple of times. But I never responded. A few years passed, then she sent me an email from a work account, a couple of WhatsApps. But I deleted them unread. It made me angry, the idea of her thinking the years would have smoothed away the sharpness of what had happened.

She stopped trying after that.

‘You look great, Neve,’ she says now, as we regard each other across the table.

She looks mostly the same as she did back then. Her teeth are a little straighter and whiter, maybe. Her skin carries a few new creases. Her face has lost its adolescent plumpness, which makes her blue eyes seem even more striking, somehow. Freckles pepper her cheeks and nose. She always got them in summer, would try to cover them with concealer, until I persuaded her not to.

My heart is a starfish in my chest. My oldest friend is right in front of me. Right here.

Our server comes to take our order. Lara asks for black decaf. I go for espresso, maybe to indicate I don’t plan on staying long.

‘Neve. There are some things I need to say to you.’

I shake my head. ‘Not now. I can’t do that... now.’

Her expression recalibrates slightly. Perhaps she had a speech prepared. Maybe, like me, she’s stood in front of myriad mirrors over the years, mouthing the words she imagines it will make her feel better to say.

‘Tell me about Felix,’ I say instead. Because, despite everything, I know I’m happy for her. I guess some instincts you can’t overturn.

She smiles, and it glitters. Love has blazed its trail across her face. ‘He’s from California. Well, he was born in Chicago, but he moved to Santa Cruz a few years ago.’

‘How did you meet?’

‘I beat him at pool, at a house party in St John’s Wood. He used to be a professional tennis player, so he was used to winning everything. Anyway, he found me later and challenged me to a rematch, obviously, but I was enjoying this amazing view out on the balcony, overlooking the cricket ground. The sun was coming up, so we just stayed out there talking. And he ended up trying to explain cricket to me, which was hilarious, because it was obvious he didn’t have a clue, so I just waited for him to finish like I didn’t either, then I told him he’d got practically all of it wrong. And when I started explaining what actually happens when one side declares, I don’t think his ego could quite handle it, so to shut me up he kissed me, and... Well. Here we are.’

I smile, because I can just imagine her calculating exactly the right moment at which to take him down. ‘Whose place was it?’ I ask, wondering exactly how much a balcony flat overlooking Lord’s sets a person back these days.

‘The director of a film I was working on. I’m... a production designer now.’

I know this, of course, because I stalk her online from time to time, checking her IMDb and Wikipedia like she’s an ex I can’t get over. She started out in the theatre before moving into TV and film, recently working on a BAFTA-winning series set in the 1800s and even an Oscar-nominated film, a science-fiction love story.

Before I can stop it, I feel second-hand pride bloom in my belly.

‘So are you... Will you move to America? To be with Felix? Is it better for work out there?’

She hesitates. ‘I think... I’ll probably move in with him at some point, yeah.’

The server returns and sets down our drinks.

‘Is he retired?’

Lara laughs. ‘Ha. No. He’s in tech. He co-founded a robotics company.’

‘Tennis to robotics? That’s . . .’

‘I know. He’s one of those infuriating people with the Midas touch. And he’s insanely intelligent. Honestly, Neve, sometimes he starts talking and I just have to stop him and say, I literally have no idea what you’re on about.’ She laughs. ‘And we go to these dinner parties, and... they’re on another level, some of the people he hangs out with. Seriously. So clever. All these investors and tech people and serial entrepreneurs.’

I think about how protective Felix seemed just now. I picture him lecturing her about cricket or robotics or the Nasdaq, and I wonder if it’s possible Lara can have become a completely different person in the years since I last saw her. ‘You’re intelligent,’ I remind her, in case she’s somehow forgotten how she barely needed to study for those A-stars in her exams.

She meets my eye and smiles. ‘Bad choice of word. I guess I meant we’re from very different worlds. But I love him to bits, Neve. From that first night, I was just... blindsided by him. Like, I knew he was my person, you know? I’d never felt that way about anyone before.’

I think of Jamie, and swallow.

‘And actually, I have you to thank.’

‘Me?’

‘Yeah. Remember that night you came to get me? After—’

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