Page 117 of The Spark

Oh God. She’s having a baby with The Duke. I’m going to have a half-sibling who’ll be born into endless drama and be given a name that sounds like a pub.

‘I’ve asked Ralph to move in.’

I blink furiously. ‘What?’

‘I’ve asked Ralph to move in with me.’

‘Which Ralph? Our Ralph?’

‘Do you know any others?’

No, I think. Ralph is one of a kind.

‘Remember what I said about very few people being worthy of your heart and devotion?’

‘Y-es,’ I say, uncertainly.

‘Well, I realised... that maybe it was time to take my own advice.’

There is a creak on the floorboard behind me. I turn to see Ralph standing in the doorway, beaming like someone who’s just been let out of prison on good behaviour.

My heart fattens with happiness. I get straight up and pull him into a hug.

‘Well, what is it they say?’ I can hear the smile in his voice. ‘Better late than never.’

I am heartbroken for Lara and boiling with fury at Jamie and buzzing for my mother and Ralph all at once. ‘Congratulations,’ I manage.

‘Daniela and I make a good team,’ he says, which makes me smile, because Mum’s team has for so long been filled with duds and last reserves. But now, finally, it seems she’s picked a winner.

‘Will you do me a favour?’ I say, pulling back from Ralph and looking at them both.

‘Of course,’ says Ralph, while my mother – true to form – waits to see what the favour is first.

‘Please do something about the state of this place. It won’t take much. I know you’ve got the money, Mum. And I can help. Just please, please, give this beautiful house a bit of TLC... It hurts my heart, okay?’

Mum rolls her eyes. ‘I’m sure I didn’t bring you up to be this affected, but fine – if it bothers you so much.’

‘Thank you,’ I say, exhaling like I’ve just crossed some sort of finish line. ‘Thank you.’

Later, cocooned in my bedroom back at home, I search online for any shred of hope that Lara’s cancer is curable. Unsurprisingly, I find plenty. Stories of miraculous recoveries, defying the odds, tumours shrinking then vanishing. I search for cancer experts living within any sort of radius of Santa Cruz. I think about contacting Felix, asking if he thinks his bank account might be big enough to save her.

But then a message pings on my phone. It’s from Lara.

Please understand I’m at peace with dying, Neve

I know you haven’t had much time to get used to it. But it’s not up to you to save me.

I’m not considering other treatments. I just want to make the most of the time I have left Xx

It takes me a long time – maybe more than an hour – to slowly shut down everything I’ve bookmarked. To strike thick black marks through the entries I’ve been making in a notebook.

Okay then, Lar.

This is not my fight, I finally realise. This is Lara’s choice, Lara’s life. Ruining the time she has left by refusing to accept the call she’s made would be the pinnacle of selfishness.

It’s mind-bendingly hard, but I know I have to respect her decision.

Before I close the laptop, I idly type in Heather’s name. I found her on LinkedIn once, years ago. Maybe it’s down to some strange, self-destructive impulse, or maybe I just want a distraction from thinking about Lara.

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