Page 105 of The Spark

Never would have happened, says the voice in my head, but I don’t interrupt her. Defiance and curiosity are playing tug-of-war in my stomach, and right now, the latter has the edge.

‘And let’s say... he’s made some new friends at this bank, and he decides he’s really into what they’re into, which is... swish bars and driving nice cars and going to the gym, for example. And perhaps European city breaks no longer really do it for him, and he’s into... skiing holidays instead. And he doesn’t read much these days, especially not books about architecture, and the Edward Hopper painting is no more significant to him than... a one-time gift from his grandmother. Maybe it’s even gathering dust in an attic or cupboard somewhere. And he’s now into... opera music, and coffee gives him migraines, and he can’t remember the last time he cooked. In fact, he’s decided he loathes cooking.’ She pauses, fixing me again with those heat-seeking eyes of hers. ‘I’m obviously playing with stereotypes, here, Neve – but do you get my point?’

I sit very still for a long time, staring at the rug beneath my feet. I knot my fingers as I force myself – really push myself – to at least try to see where she’s coming from. ‘I think so,’ I say, eventually.

‘You believe that Ash is who Jamie was meant to become. But the reality is, you’ve no way at all of knowing who Jamie would have grown up to be. If you were to meet him today, there’s a chance you might not even recognise him.’

‘But Ash’s accident,’ I say. ‘It happened at exactly the same time as Jamie’s, just a street away. And after that, Ash completely changed. How can that be coincidence too?’

‘People can change drastically, after major life events. I would say that was entirely normal, Neve. It still doesn’t mean Ash is Jamie. Remember confirmation bias?’

‘So, I guess you’re not going to argue my case to Ash for me?’

She shoots me a kind smile. ‘I’ve got a suggestion that I think is even better. I want to see you next week, and I’d like you to spend the time between now and then making a list of all the ways in which Ash is different to Jamie. Okay?’

‘That’ll be a short list, but okay. I’ll try.’

Our time is up. I gather my bag and coat and haul myself out of the chair to leave.

‘Neve?’ Meena says, as I’m heading to the door.

‘Yes?’

‘When the human body is struck by lightning, it takes an unbelievable hit. Did you know that a lightning strike can contain millions of volts?’

I nod, because of course I knew that. Well, not exactly, but everyone understands that lightning equals serious voltage.

‘Many people don’t survive lightning strikes. But if they do, their internal circuitry will most likely be a bit jumbled up. It makes sense that something that forceful will alter you on some level, if you get in its way. Ash is undoubtedly lucky he didn’t die. But I would suggest that there’s nothing mystical about that. No more than... weather itself. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of mystical. It’s science. So it’s worth considering there’s nothing strange at all about the fact Ash was a different person before and after surviving such a huge event.’

‘How do you know all this?’ I ask, even though I get that you’re supposed to pretend your counsellor’s part robot and doesn’t have a personal perspective on anything.

But Meena doesn’t seem too bothered. ‘Actually, I trained as a meteorologist. So I know a bit about physics and weather. But as I grew older, I decided that wasn’t my calling. Not that you’d have known it, when I was eighteen. I’d always been determined to work for the Met Office. It was all I used to talk about.’

I meet her eye and smile. ‘Okay.’

‘Like I said. People can change, Neve.’

I nod, but say nothing further.

‘Get working on that list of differences, okay?’

‘All right,’ I tell her. ‘I’ll try.’

Chapter 45.

Then

It was August. In the middle of the night, one Saturday, my phone rang.

‘Lara?’

She was crying. She couldn’t speak.

‘What’s happened? Lara? Can you tell me what’s happened?’

Eventually, she said, ‘I told him no. I said no.’

‘Okay.’ My biggest fear was on the verge of coming to life. ‘Okay. You’re okay. It’s going to be all right. Where are you?’

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