Page 13 of Rev

The first morning after Hadrian and Hades left, my father didn’t look up when I entered the dining room, and he didn’t greet me. I could tell his emotions were a mix of loss and discontent. He loved both the twins almost as much as I loved the one.

Since Hadrian’s departure, I’ve tried to immerse myself in my studies and the planning of my birthday party, but everything reminds me of him. The books we used to talk about, the music we both liked, and our discussions about the places we wanted to see, including the cities and towns I’ve only ever heard of or seen on telly.

I dream about him every night. He’s there, in my mind’s eye, telling me he wants me.

I know I have to let go of him. But my heart is stubbornly refusing to follow my head.

“Why did it have to be this way?” I whisper to the chilly wind that’s blowing off the sea. “Why couldn’t things be different?”

I’ll live the rest of my life knowing my first love was unrequited. My feelings, our feelings, were forbidden, but it didn’t stop them from taking hold. It didn’t stop them from being real.

I realise now that Hadrian left so I could find my own way. Hadrian wanted me to have a happy life, to experience things that he said he couldn’t give me, and to have the freedom to choose my own future, and I want to have that, too. But my father’s organisation is getting bigger and more volatile, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to escape this life, and even if I wanted to walk away, I can’t bear the thought of abandoning my father.

When I stand up to leave, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. As angry as I am with Hadrian, I know he did this for me. I look back over my shoulder, my gaze on the sea. I’m still heartbroken he had to leave, knowing there would never be a chance for us, but I have to focus on my life now. I need to be stronger and more resilient in the days ahead.

“Goodbye, Hadrian,” I whisper, a tear slipping down my cheek. “Thank you for loving me enough to let me go.”

With that, I walk away, leaving the past behind but carrying its lessons with me. I know that life is full of unexpected turns and that true love sometimes means making the hardest choices, but I also know I am stronger now. I’m ready to face whatever the future holds.

I feel a sense of hope as I walk back into the house and see my father in the lounge. He’s on the couch, watching telly, and when I enter, he smiles for the first time in a long while.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” he says as I join him.

“Oh? What about?”

He sighs as he mutes the telly. “I never intended for you to get involved in the organisation. I always hoped you would get to choose your own path, but things have come up, and I need you to start working for me full-time.”

His words sink my heart like a dead weight.

“What?”

“Aye,” he says with a nod. “I want ye to learn about the organisation, so if anything happens to me, you’ll be prepared to take over.”

I watch my father for a silent moment. The twisting in my stomach reminds me that there’s no way I can refuse him. Even though it’s not what I want to do with my life, he needs me.

“Okay.”

I’ve lost Hadrian, my first love, but I’m slowly gaining a deeper understanding of myself. I thought about escaping my father’s world, but now there’s no stopping where my future leads.

I’ve come to learn what it means to truly care for someone. It’s the greatest gift Hadrian could have given me, and it’s made me realise I have to be there for my father. From now on, I have to focus on becoming what Da needs me to be. I have to be stronger, more resilient, and step into the shoes he’s created for me.

From now on, I’ll close my heart to everything else and embrace my family’s legacy.

FIVE

HARLEY

Present Day

The tension in the room is palpable. I didn’t think I’d ever see Hadrian again, yet the man who stole my teenage heart is standing in front of me, staring at me as if I’m something to eat. Maybe I am and he’s about to devour me. Anything would be better than having to talk to him.

I’m almost thirty. I should be over these emotions, but apparently, my feelings for Hadrian haven’t diminished. And even though the difference in our ages no longer matters, I still see him as a mature, unattainable man.

I’ve become used to ignoring my feelings, though. When Hadrian walked out and didn’t look back, my young heart was crushed. I closed myself off to the possibility of having a relationship with another man because I never again wanted to experience hurt in the way I did back then. I’m different now to the girl I was thirteen years ago.

I don’t want to live the rest of my life running my father’s organisation, but when my father developed heart problems and became increasingly unwell, I promised him I would take charge until he was well enough to take the reins again. And I won’t let him down.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, faking my bravado and not wanting Hadrian to see just how shaken I am by his presence.

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