Page 34 of F Is for Honey Bee

Kijani stopped at the driver’s door of his car and eyed Jonah, his expression unreadable. It was the same kind of expression he’d worn the day they’d met.

As nervous as Jonah was, he couldn’t allow himself to back down. No matter how painful it would be to tell his mate about his mother and her confession, Jonah had to explain why he was filled with so much shame.

He also needed to explain that he’d dated toxic men because he felt that was all he deserved and that belonging to a good, decent one scared the hell out of him.

Jonah had never wanted to be with someone who put their hands on him though.

Goddamn Flint.

“I have to head to the station to return the cruiser,” Kijani said rigidly when Jonah got out.

“I called off work,” Jonah blurted out. “I didn’t want to leave things the way they were between us. You were right. There’s more to talk about.”

“Park your car and come with me.” Kijani unlocked his door.

“To the police station?” He glanced at the cruiser. “You want me to ride in the back so my neighbors think I’m under arrest?”

“You’re riding in the front.”

“Uh.” Jonah blinked. “Okay.”

His mate got in and closed the door. Jonah wasn’t looking forward to the awkward ride with a pissed-off wolf shifter. He knew Kijani wouldn’t hurt him but damn if he didn’t seem deadly when he was angry.

Not even Flint had been able to pull off that look when he was in one of his moods.

Which had been daily.

They drove in silence, and Jonah had no intention of changing that. They would talk but not in the front seat of a police car. Any conversation between them would feel like an interrogation rather than a conversation. At least, that’s how Jonah felt after enduring countless interrogations while dating Flint.

He didn’t want to go through another one.

“You shouldn’t have walked out alone this morning.”

It seemed Kijani wanted to change the atmosphere.

“I don’t follow.”

His mate gave him a sideways glance. “Flint.”

Flint. Right. Jesus, where was his mind? How had he forgotten that his shithead ex-boyfriend had escaped and might come after him? He’d just thought about the guy yet failed to remember he could possibly be in danger.

“I shouldn’t have let you walk out the second time.” Kijani pulled into a designated spot reserved for law enforcement vehicles. A sign warned that non-police cars would be towed at the owner’s expense.

After they returned the keys, they slid into his red Toyota Tundra, which was parked under a canopy of trees that protected the vehicles from the glare of the rising sun.

Kijani sat there with a tight expression as he stared at the building in front of them. “It’s true we’ve only known each other for a few days, but we are better than this, Jonah.”

He not only regretted saying that, but those words had come full circle to bite him on the ass. “I was scared.”

“I know.”

“Being with shitty guys is a colossal headache but what I deserve. Plus, I don’t have to impress them or worry about their opinion of me. But you…” Jonah glanced out the passenger window. “I was scared because you’re the first decent guy I’ve ever been with, and I’m constantly twisted up inside when I’m around you. Your opinion of me means everything.”

Now Jonah worried he looked as bad as the words he’d just spit out. He couldn’t take them back because they were already hanging in the air between them.

He didn’t want to take them back because they were the truth and Kijani needed to hear them.

“Shame is only carried by two types of people.” Kijani ran his tongue across the inside of his lower lip. “Those who deserve it and those who don’t.” He glanced at Jonah. “You’ve convinced yourself you’re the type who deserves it.”

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