Page 79 of Motorycle Daddies

“That’s true,” Dart says, laughing.

“Great, let’s keep going. And don’t worry, you can skip me.”

We all let out a small laugh. The nurse is doing a great job of lightening up the mood despite the heaviness of the circumstances. “That’s Trap. I’m surprised he didn’t insist he go first because this man has a patience level that hovers at exactly zero.”

“You’re really calling me out here, huh?” Trap says, and he nods, confirming her statement.

“Alright, and that man?”

“That’s Harlow’s dad. I’ve known him my whole life and he’s like a father to me.”

Meredith isn’t looking at me the way she’s come to look at me more recently. Her look is more innocent, like she’s back to being the girl who would breeze by me to go hang out with Harlow. It’s as if the passion, the lust, the desire for me has faded away in an instant. I want to push her, to interrogate her to get more out of her to see what’s going on, but I’m too stunned.

“Isn’t that lovely,” the nurse says, clasping her hands. She then unfolds them toward Harlow, inviting Meredith to let us know about the woman standing behind her.

“This is Harlow, and she’s been such a good friend to me. She has beautiful twins, and I would never, ever want to hurt her.”

“I’m partial,” Harlow says to the nurse. “But they really are beautiful.”

“Excellent,” the nurse concludes.

“You forgot one,” Harlow said, pointing to Meredith’s stomach.

Meredith crinkles her face in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“The baby.”

“What baby?”

Harlow flashes everyone a concerned look and the nurse lets out a sigh.

“Your baby,” Harlow says. “You’re pregnant.”

Meredith stares into space for a few seconds. It’s like she’s trying to piece together a puzzle. I have a knot in my stomach as I think about what kind of damage this head injury may have done.

“Oh, that’s right…” she says. “I guess. I guess that’s true…”

“We already did a quick ultrasound and found that everything is going well with the pregnancy. I’m sure you’ll be relieved to hear that it doesn’t appear that this attack did anything to harm the baby whatsoever.”

I don’t know if Meredith is relieved, but I am. I’m the only one of these guys who knows what it is to have a child. It changed me in the most profound way, and while I really hate the idea of having to start all over, and facing the fear of leaving this child way too soon, I also know the joy and sense of purpose being a dad has given me. We’re all lucky to be able to raise a child.

“Can you tell if it’s a girl or boy yet? You know…on the ultrasound?” Dart asks.

Meredith looks at him with surprise. It’s a mix of sweetness for caring about the pregnancy, but she also seems taken back by the question. It’s obvious everyone’s emotions are all over the place with the news. I don’t know if knowing the sex of the baby would help or hurt things right now. It would make things more real than they already are. I figure that’s probably why he wants to know.

“Not without a blood test,” the nurse explains. “That should be happening about now, as soon as Meredith sees her obstetrician. However, we can usually tell on ultrasound around twenty weeks.”

“I’m not sure I want to find out anyway,” Meredith says.

Most of us look at Meredith, unsure where her comment is coming from. I’m not sure if she’s that unexcited about the pregnancy, or if she’s afraid it will make things too real as well. The question of whether she would want to terminate bubbles up in my brain, and before I let the thought take root, I squash it. I can’t even think about it.

“Any reason?” I ask. I can’t let the thought swirl in my mind without some sort of answer.

“The best things in life are surprises,” she explains. “I mean, you can’t help but fall in love with someone when they’re standing right in front of you, needing you. I should wait for that.”

“If it counts,” Dart says. “I hope it’s a girl. Because she’ll be just as beautiful as you are.”

Dart kisses Meredith’s forehead, and I’ve never been more jealous of a kiss in my life.

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