Page 64 of Motorycle Daddies

MEREDITH

Ipull at my shirt and look at myself in the mirror, turning this way and that. I run my hand over my stomach. At twelve weeks now, I’m starting to show. It’s not super obvious. Mostly, it looks like I’ve gained a little bit of weight with the stress of studying and all of this junk food they keep plying me with. I’ll be able to hide things for just a little bit longer, but not much longer. Especially with those who see me naked frequently.

I feel my blood pressure jump up, and I know it’s not good for the baby. I started diving into all of the information I’ve been given, and know all the horrible things that can go wrong. I probably shouldn’t have made myself paranoid that way, but I just want to be prepared for everything. I’ve started to feel the pinch here, and I know I want to keep this baby. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it yet. But maybe it’s the way the Harlow has inspired me with her new life and the fact that she can still go to college even after having two babies.

Maybe it’s the hormones. My boobs are huge and they hurt. I cry at the drop of a hat. I get irritable really easily. The guys have even started to mention it, and I know it’s time to tell them.

Maybe I’m so nervous right now and overthinking it because I have plans. Plans to tell them.

I’ve asked that all three of them be available tonight. I told them that I don’t feel good and that I need all my men around. Grizzly has even found the time to be here with me.

They probably think I want help studying for this exam, but also that I have an idea of how and when we’re going to tell Harlow about us.

The truth is that I don’t. I don’t think I’ll ever have a real plan about how it’s going to go. It’s probably going to be stressful and spontaneous just like this is going to be. But the priority has to be the baby. I have to tell them so they have an out if they want it before it’s too late.

I bite my lower lip as that idea gets to me. Yet again, I find myself in the position where I might lose the three men who have become so precious to me over the last several months. How could I ever say goodbye to any of them?

“You doing okay in there, sweetheart?” I hear Dart call to me through the door. I also hear the door to my room open and close, telling me Grizzly’s finally joined us.

I ended up ordering takeout, something a little bit more healthy. I don’t know how much of the salad I’ll be able to hold down, but I figured I’d try it. For the baby anyway.

I want this to be as easy as possible.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

I let my shirt down and open the door to find that Grizzly’s sitting in my seat at my desk, staring at the mess that is all of my study material.

“You’re really hitting the books hard, aren’t you?” he asks, looking over all of it.

“I really can’t afford to fail it again. Not with my scholarship and everything. It’s really important that I maintain my grades no matter what.”

The words seem ominous considering what I’m dealing with under my shirt. And I really hope that the same support system will be here for me as it gets even harder.

And hopefully, when she’s over all of the betrayal and the secrets, Harlow will be here for me too. Because I can’t imagine having this baby without her there.

The men all start digging in and getting some food on a paper plate for me. It’s only Grizzly who holds my gaze a few times, as if he knows there’s something more important to talk about here.

I feel so heavy as I begin to pick up my food. Antsy, I walk over to where Grizzly sits and grab some of the study material, looking over it while I force a few more bites down my throat. I know I’m supposed to be gaining some weight here, and I want to do this right. I want a healthy baby.

“You seem so tight and stressed. You need to take a break from all that, darlin’.” I look up and see that Grizzly’s looking at me. The other two men follow suit.

“It’s not just this that’s making me stressed. There’s something else we need to talk about.”

Grizzly puts up his hand to stop me. “Before we start with the heavy stuff, I think you need to relax. I have an idea.”

He smirks and looks around at the other two.

I don’t like that I’ve been interrupted. The longer I wait, the more likely it is that I’m never going to tell them the truth. And Addy’s right, I don’t really deserve to have someone here for me if I’m keeping a secret this big. They need to know.

“I say she looks like she needs a warm bath and maybe a massage. What do you think?” Trap asks.

Dart rubs his hands together, and Grizzly’s eyes light up. I can tell where this is going, and the pregnancy hormones have my core straining at the thought. Somehow, I can’t deny this. And maybe it will get me more relaxed for what’s to come. I need to feel comfortable telling them this if I’m going to get it all out.

“But what about my studying?” I ask, feeling like I should protest in some way. Because I don’t feel like I really deserve this right now, but they don’t know that. Which is exactly the problem.

“It can wait. Let us take care of you,” Dart says as he comes over and pulls me into his embrace. The three of them start slowly removing my clothes, and then Dart goes to run a warm bath. I decide to bask in the moment. I’ll tell them right after.

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